Fifty-two percent of all adolescents in the United States have had coitus-59
percent of the boys and 45 percent of the girls. Thirty-seven percent have had coitus
by age fifteen, 64 percent of those sixteen to nineteen years of age have experienced
coitus (Sorensen, 1973, p. 122).
At each stage of greater involvement in sexual intimacy, we have reported the
new experience as being an awesome one. The most awesome first sexual experience of
all is apt to be first coitus because of the strong taboos within adult culture-the "loss
of virginity," because it involves nude genital intimacy and body penetration, because
potentially it involves pain (as well as pleasure), because of fear of pregnancy, and fear
of contracting venereal disease.
That night was a horrible experience for both of us. We were both
afraid, and I was so over-anxious. There was not much foreplay.
Eventually it became so painful for her, we did not even finish. We
went straight home. The next day found both of us filled with guilt
feelings.
Sorensen reports that boys rehearse first coitus over and over again in their
fantasies, while girls seldom plan ahead (Sorensen, 1973, p. 191); but it is difficult to
generalize. Some cases of first coitus are carefully planned, some are quite
spontaneous and happen after limited contact or coercion, while others occur only
after lengthy communication and a decision jointly arrived at.
Our first sexual intercourse was for the most part a spontaneous
action, which is supported by the fact that she was in her
menstrual period.
There was little verbal coercion involved.
As soon as we got inside the house, our bodies came together and
for a moment we stood there kissing. Without ever saying a word
we went into one of the bedrooms and fell on the bed. There was
brief petting until I situated myself so that my penis was near the
opening of her vagina, and gave a light pelvic thrust. She grabbed
tighter, but didn't say anything. The motions of our bodies caused
deeper penetration. As this happened she gasped several times,
and tried to pull herself closer. As I tried to partially withdraw I
reached orgasm. We lay in each other's grasp until after dark. We
watched a movie on TV that night, and never once did we speak
about what had happened that afternoon.
In the following case, intimacy has progressed over a long period of time, and the
"foreplay" is so daring and so stimulating that first coitus is almost a foregone
conclusion.
I was really going strong with a fine girl at the time, and after going
out with her for about nine months, we had done almost everything
except to have intercourse. Finally we did have intercourse; it came
about this way: She came to my house one summer night. I was
feeling horny as usual. My parents were just leaving as she arrived.
She said hi, and we talked for a while.
Never one to miss an opportunity I said, sort of jokingly, that tonight would be a great
night for swimming nude in our swimming pool. She said that I'd
never dare, etc., and we flung insults at each other all the way to
the pool. Well, neither of us was too eager to strip down in front of
the other (probably not so much out of modesty as out of not
wanting to appear too forward). Finally I suggested that we sit at
opposite sides of the pool and strip.
This we did, and after
swimming around for a while we met and embraced in the middle
of the pool. Kneeling on the bottom with head and shoulders above
water we kissed for a while, with her vulva resting on my penis. It
was quite erotic to say the least. Anyway, I finally told her that we'd
better split because I knew if I stayed much longer I would
definitely have to have intercourse or die. She said okay, and that
my parents were coming home so why didn't we leave.