Communication is not only inadequate between adolescents and parents, communication between dating partners leaves much to be desired. Adolescent couples "experiment" and arrive at behavior patterns based on the unsure standards of permissiveness-with-affection. Their standards for lovemaking are often rudimentary and primitive.
Man is more of a sexual creature than are most other animals. The sexual drive
is not seasonal in man, nor is the period of fecundity seasonal. The onset of puberty
comes earlier than it did a hundred years ago; the fecund period is longer, too, as
puberty comes earlier and menopause later. With early onset of puberty and relatively
late date of marriage, continence and conception control become problematic. It is not
possible for a normal adolescent, especially an adolescent male, to get along without
some kind of regular sexual outlet. Despite that fact, adolescents are naive and poorly
informed about the positive aspects of even the solitary methods of outlet: nocturnal
emissions and masturbation. Some find nocturnal emissions and masturbation to be
good and acceptable sex outlets, but too many fret about them.
Empirical evidence strongly suggests that neither is a harmful sexual outlet and need not be proscribed.
Chastity has been increasingly devalued in American society. A fun morality has
pervaded much of American sex life. And the probability of pregnancy from any
particular act of coitus is, statistically speaking, low among adolescents. There is a low
correlation between incidents of adolescent coitus and incidents of illegitimacy in spite
of the fact that the use of contraceptives by adolescents is naive and slipshod. This low
correlation is due to relative adolescent sterility, fairly common use of the withdrawal
method of conception control, and at least sporadic use of condoms and other
mechanical and chemical methods, plus abortion.
Illegitimacy among adolescents does not reach the proportions of being regarded
as epidemic in the eyes of the adult generation, hence it is not treated as a social
problem that needs to be given high priority and needs to be dealt with openly and
forthrightly within the community. Even if it were, there is no easy formula for
preventing illegitimacy given our dating system. There is also evidence of increased
acceptance or at least toleration of the unwed mother and her child.
There are many misconceptions about sex and erotic involvement. Adolescents
"fall in love"; when they "fall in love" they are unsure of what to do with it or about it.
The relationship between love and sexual passion is mysterious, awesome, ecstatic,
and agony producing. Youth want more information about sex and sexual encounters
than they are getting. Sexual experience is sometimes easier to come by than is sexual
knowledge, for good sex and family life education is not generally available. It can be
provided in the home, but what is being given in the home is not adequate, nor will it
be in the foreseeable future. The fact that a few families do a good job of sex and
family life education indicates that it is possible to do so. Parents who count on their
children to take the initiative in discussion of sex and family life matters will be
disappointed. For by one means or another children get the signal; they know without
asking which are the tabooed topics in the minds of their parents, and they will not
bring up sexual topics if they are taboo in the family.
On subjects where parents are silent, children get information from peers. This is
frequently the case with information on dating and erotic intimacy. Parents at best
provide vague and rudimentary guidance in standards of behavior or rationale for
behavior in heterosexual encounters. For various reasons, they fail to provide a model
to their children of a loving intimate relationship in their own marriage as well. Good
sex education, when found in the home, is part of a good general relationship between
parents and children.
"Responsible" social systems-the home, church, and school-continue to be
reticent on the subject of sex; other social systems, especially some elements of the
mass media, do not share this reticence. Not that the mass media receive a high
rating as sources of sex information from adolescents, however; they do not.