He was also very concerned about me having a climax. He wanted me to 'let him in,' (let his penis enter my vagina or have intercourse) so I could reach a climax and see how good it felt. I guess these were the most unusual words, the key ones to his talk. All of this was very new to me and in a way very exciting. I am glad I never let down my standards and had intercourse. But now, as I look back on this whole episode, I get sick. He was just another guy out for all he could get. It has made me leery of other boys. But I know when the right one comes along, he will not make any fresh moves out of a pure sense of all for sex.
We grew to learn about sex together. All those experiences of him
ejaculating by penetrating movements against his body, my
reaching orgasm, and a sense of being satisfied, was all so new to
me. As our dating progressed, we progressed together, sexually.
I was very naive about the subject of sex before I met him. He
sensed this, and very matter-of-factly brought up the subject one
evening. At first, I was very reticent to talk about it, but I shyly
admitted that I knew very little about the sexual relationship. He
was very understanding about my extreme shyness and actual
feeling of guilt about discussing sex.
In the true manner of a scientist, he explained the physiological facts about the male
reproduction organs and sexual intercourse. Our many talks about
sex have erased my shame of guilt and uneasiness about sex.
I have so much to thank my boyfriend for, especially in coming to
understand sex relations better. We never did anything wrong. We
did get very serious, and sometimes very involved.
I was very ignorant of some of the workings of the male and female organs etc.
He explained a few things to me. We talked about different things
openly and freely, and neither of us felt self-conscious about it. I did
come to realize that sex was neither dirty nor vulgar in its correct
state. This helped me to see and understand.
Outcomes of Adolescent Experience with Conception Control
Adolescents do not always use contraceptives because of lack of knowledge about
conception and its control, because of negative attitudes toward contraceptives,
because of lack of availability of contraceptives, because of negative reactions to the
kinds of contraceptives (such as condoms) available to them. Such expressions as the
following are not uncommon: "Yes, I know all about this, but to have used a
contraceptive would have been just having sex for sex's sake, and our relationship had
more meaning than that," or "She just wasn't that kind of girl."
The next few weeks (after overlooking the use of any means of
contraceptive) were filled with pretty arguments and quarrels until
she had had her period.
I do remember crying all night (because of lack of confidence in the
contraceptive methods used), for I was positive I would become
pregnant, even though we used a contraceptive.
We attempted intercourse with no protection. It came so fast I
didn't have time to think, I just thanked God that I had enough
sense to withdraw before ejaculation. I didn't think any sperm had
entered, but I wasn't sure. I was a little worried, but I pushed the
thought out of my mind until her period didn't come. Each day I
would call her and ask but no such luck.
Her period was about fifteen days late. This was probably the most nervous fifteen days
that I have spent in my life. After that I swore to myself that I
would never do a foolish thing like that again without some form of
protection.
We (having used old condoms purchased from a friend that broke)
were so scared that we could hardly eat or sleep. I thought sure
that God was going to punish us by making her pregnant, and
neither of us knew what we would do. She was fourteen days late,
and I thought it was all over but the wedding bells!
We (using a combination of contraceptives and the rhythm method)
both had a complete and rewarding sexual experience, until she
told me that she thought she was pregnant.