In a national sample of adolescents in the United States, Sorensen found the following range of intimacy. Twenty-two percent had not engaged in any type of sexual intimacy, 48 percent were still virgins, and 52 percent had had sexual intercourse one or more times (Sorensen, 1973, p. 121). Besides the males who have had coitus, many males come to climax in intimacy that does not involve genital contact; but some body contact is usually required in such situations. After early adolescence, it is a rare male who ejaculates when no physical contact is involved (Kinsey, 1948, p. 191).
According to Ramsey, six sources of stimulation to sexual outlet (nocturnal
emissions, masturbation, heterosexual petting to the point of climax, heterosexual
intercourse, homosexual relations, and anal intercourse) appear in a wide variety of
combinations and frequencies in the histories of adolescent boys. The total outlet
ranged from none in a very small group of boys, to an outlet in one fifteen-year-old boy
that averaged approximately 40 climaxes a week. The average total outlet for these
boys was between 3 and 4 per week.
Non-Sexual Intimacy
We must not give the impression that sexual intimacy is the only or major type of
intimacy in adolescent dating, however. Nothing could be farther from the truth. A
careful study of the data reveals that much of the intimacy in a steady relationship is
of a social, psychological, or emotional nature, and not of a physical nature. This is not
to deny that sexual intimacy is a prominent aspect of the steady relationship.
During the entire four months I went with her, I never kissed her
once. It did not seem strange at the time, because we did so many
other things that we never got around to kissing.
Talking intimately to another person was a new and wonderful
experience for both of us, as neither he nor I confided at all in our
parents.
Up to the time that I (a girl) began going steady, I told my girlfriend
everything. When I started going steady, I told my boyfriend
everything, and I told my girlfriend almost everything.
It seemed to me that people were very hard, and I needed some
human warmth to penetrate my hard outer self. I also desired at
the same time to find a source of outlet for my affections, and she
provided me with someone to accept the warmth that I had
dammed up inside of me.
He called each night at eight o'clock. I reminded him to read his
English and helped him with his biology. He helped me on the
school paper.
My family didn't have a very good relationship; in fact, my parents
all but separated because of my father's drinking. I gave all my love
to him because there wasn't any other male in my life to give it to.
She listened while I talked about everything that was probably
causing me to withdraw.
Problems appeared very large to me at this age (high school
sophomore); I was emotional and very romantic. The fellow that I
was going steady with was very mature for his age, and we were
able to talk over many things in an intelligent way.
Having experienced the intimate confidences of a steady relationship, it is
difficult to return to the superficial chatter of the casual date.
After going steady for a year when you talk about all your
problems, joys, etc., it is a little setback to talk about whatever you
do talk about while casually dating. I am confused.