One night, between my fifteenth and sixteenth year, something wonderful happened to me. I had a dream about an orgy, and with great ecstasy, I awoke and found I had had a wet dream. Previously I had by hand aroused myself to an erection, and while dancing with girls, but never had I had an ejaculation. From then on I continued to occasionally have wet dreams. My mother scolded me about them but I told her that they were normal because I had read a copy of Duvall's Facts of Love and Life for Teenagers, which was the best thing that could have happened to me. My mother finally asked the doctor and he assured her that it was normal. Then she wanted to know what I dreamed about, but I wouldn't tell her. I was seventeen, she was fifteen. Five days had passed since our meeting.
This night was special. We were going to have a picnic on
an island with another couple. When my mother heard what we
were going to do, she said, "Stay out of trouble, now. Don't do
anything you might regret for the rest of your life. I don't know Sally
that well, but I am sure she is a nice girl. But remember, one night
isn't worth ruining your life. So be good and have a good time." It
was perfectly clear to me what my mother had been trying to say,
but I couldn't understand why. I was in love with Sally as a person
and companion, not as a sex partner. He held hands, wrestled a
little, and kissed a few times-no more. Why had Mom been so blunt
and suggestive about something that had never crossed my
conscious mind? It was so unlike her to say something like that.
I was hurt that she would question my high moral standards and my
relative naivete; or at least, that she was not aware of both of them.
But the incident also raised some questions in my conscious mind as
to whether or not it was abnormal to be more interested in the girl
and the relationship than the potential of the situation as a sexual
experience. Even after she had left for the summer, I wondered if I
had missed something by not participating in more sexual
experimentation with her. Strangely enough, I remember this as
sort of a turning point in my life. It was the beginning of an ever-
growing interest in and quest for sexual experience.
Mother gave me a book entitled For Boys Only at this juncture of
my life, being told to read it and ask any questions of anything that
I didn't understand. I was never going to let my parents feel that I
was 'ignorant' and thus-no questions.
My dad explained it to my brother and to me that there were two
sexes and that was about the extent of it. My mother told me to
expect the fact that women get irritable at certain times and also to
expect that when a woman reached the age of forty or so her glands
begin to change and she undergoes a time of high nervousness.
Mother-son-too late
It was two days before I left for college that my parents first
confronted me with a discussion of sex. My mom sat down with me
and told me of the evil girls in college looking for husbands and
willing to do anything to get one. I still haven't figured out if I was
more embarrassed or if it was harder to keep from laughing. I had
gone steady in high school and had had coitus with my girlfriend.
For parents to come to a high school senior and try to explain the
evils of sex is as ridiculous as trying to tell a prostitute the evils of
promiscuity.
Father-daughter
My father was furious at me. "What is a sixteen year old girl doing
out until 2:30 in the morning?" was his first question. I wasn't sure
if he was mad at me for staying out too late, or if he thought my
boyfriend and I had done something wrong. I laid awake for the rest
of the night wondering and worrying if I were pregnant because I
had let my boyfriend kiss me. For all I knew, this was how pregnancy
started.
A few adolescents remember the good sex and family life education that they
received from their parents, but only a few.