Anal sexeBook

The Quality of Adolescent Sexual Experiences



One night, between my fifteenth and sixteenth year, something wonderful happened to me. I had a dream about an orgy, and with great ecstasy, I awoke and found I had had a wet dream. Previously I had by hand aroused myself to an erection, and while dancing with girls, but never had I had an ejaculation. From then on I continued to occasionally have wet dreams. My mother scolded me about them but I told her that they were normal because I had read a copy of Duvall's Facts of Love and Life for Teenagers, which was the best thing that could have happened to me. My mother finally asked the doctor and he assured her that it was normal. Then she wanted to know what I dreamed about, but I wouldn't tell her. I was seventeen, she was fifteen. Five days had passed since our meeting.

This night was special. We were going to have a picnic on an island with another couple. When my mother heard what we were going to do, she said, "Stay out of trouble, now. Don't do anything you might regret for the rest of your life. I don't know Sally that well, but I am sure she is a nice girl. But remember, one night isn't worth ruining your life. So be good and have a good time." It was perfectly clear to me what my mother had been trying to say, but I couldn't understand why. I was in love with Sally as a person and companion, not as a sex partner. He held hands, wrestled a little, and kissed a few times-no more. Why had Mom been so blunt and suggestive about something that had never crossed my conscious mind? It was so unlike her to say something like that.

I was hurt that she would question my high moral standards and my relative naivete; or at least, that she was not aware of both of them. But the incident also raised some questions in my conscious mind as to whether or not it was abnormal to be more interested in the girl and the relationship than the potential of the situation as a sexual experience. Even after she had left for the summer, I wondered if I had missed something by not participating in more sexual experimentation with her. Strangely enough, I remember this as sort of a turning point in my life. It was the beginning of an ever- growing interest in and quest for sexual experience. Mother gave me a book entitled For Boys Only at this juncture of my life, being told to read it and ask any questions of anything that I didn't understand. I was never going to let my parents feel that I was 'ignorant' and thus-no questions.

My dad explained it to my brother and to me that there were two sexes and that was about the extent of it. My mother told me to expect the fact that women get irritable at certain times and also to expect that when a woman reached the age of forty or so her glands begin to change and she undergoes a time of high nervousness.

Mother-son-too late

It was two days before I left for college that my parents first confronted me with a discussion of sex. My mom sat down with me and told me of the evil girls in college looking for husbands and willing to do anything to get one. I still haven't figured out if I was more embarrassed or if it was harder to keep from laughing. I had gone steady in high school and had had coitus with my girlfriend. For parents to come to a high school senior and try to explain the evils of sex is as ridiculous as trying to tell a prostitute the evils of promiscuity.


My father was furious at me. "What is a sixteen year old girl doing out until 2:30 in the morning?" was his first question. I wasn't sure if he was mad at me for staying out too late, or if he thought my boyfriend and I had done something wrong. I laid awake for the rest of the night wondering and worrying if I were pregnant because I had let my boyfriend kiss me. For all I knew, this was how pregnancy started. A few adolescents remember the good sex and family life education that they received from their parents, but only a few.

© 2008