In fact, each step in physical progression for teenage daters can be traumatic. Many adolescents come from families where there has been a minimum of kissing, touching, or caressing since early childhood, and they are not comfortable with it. Some couples, for other reasons, resolve not to become involved in any physical intimacy involving body fondling.
He seemed to become sexually aroused and quite a few times he
would carry things too far. Often he would try to pet me, and time
and time again I would grab his hand and tell him to stop it.
While watching the show I started to let my hand wander around
her shoulder. Getting no response, I endeavored to move down the
front of her blouse. Still no response. Soon I had my hand inside her
bra. All of a sudden, she jumped up, pulled herself away from me
and stared at me with a look of terror in her eyes. Then she started
to cry. It was obvious that this had been the first time that anyone
had ever touched her body, and she did not know how to react.
Suddenly, I found myself crying, telling her how innocent I was. The
next thing I knew, she had stopped crying and was consoling me.
The first traumatic experience of our relationship was over.
We do a lot of double dating and other things such as going to the
late show so that we won't have much time to become passionately
involved. Sometimes I wonder if the sex drive is the only motive I
have in life.
I allowed my hand to slide onto her breasts. After the incident, my
conscience troubled me, so I told her that she should not allow me
to touch her again because I thought that such love life would cause
me to lose respect for her, and that it would hurt our relationship. I
wanted to keep her on the pedestal that I had built for her. I think
that this agreement led to some of the later friction between us,
because we both desired greater physical intimacy. The result was
that we were both quite sexually frustrated. Therefore, our physical
relationship fell behind our psychological relationship, causing us
unnecessary tension. These frustrations became a major point of
irritation between us.
She knew enough to put my hands back where they belonged. She
was the hardest person to figure out I've ever seen; the next day she
couldn't even eat. This was one of the reasons I didn't touch her
again for a long time.
Even though I was hardly ever without a girlfriend in high school, I
never had or attempted to have a petting experience with any of
them. I just stayed away from that sort of thing.
I have never exploited or forced my intentions on any girl. It may
sound overly puritanical, but I don't like a physical relationship. I
also don't feel right exploiting a one-sided romance for sexual
reasons.
Petting
The pattern of behavior that evolved in youth culture as an adjustment to free
association between the sexes on the one hand and the strong parental taboo in the
consummation of the sex act on the other was petting-physical love-making short of
sexual intercourse. This pattern reflects the traditional importance of virginity in
adult sex codes in the United States. Strong religious taboos plus the mystical symbol
of virginity were central values motivating the determination to avoid sexual
intercourse (Merrill, 1959, p. 102). Petting and coitus are thrilling, awesome, and
frightening experiences for adolescents. Extreme reactions often accompany
situations where coitus or even petting below the waist is considered, as the following
cases indicating avoidance of beds, awe over touching breasts, loss of erection, and
overpowering guilt feelings, make clear.