For adolescents it is probably correct to say that all dating provides sex education because of the lack of previous experience and the lack of education from other knowledgeable agents. However, here we deal more specifically with dating as an aspect of the specific sex education of the individuals involved. It was easy for us to talk frankly with one another, and we had thousands of questions about the subject.
I knew literally nothing
about the male, and he knew little about the female other than
what he had heard in the locker room. We told each other all we
knew, and what we didn't know we looked up in the library. These
are some of the times I remember best, for they helped us to know
each other better, and enabled us to express ourselves frankly and
unselfconsciously. (Tenth grade.)
During the half year I went steadily with him, I learned to kiss
with open mouth, to neck and to pet. I enjoyed it. I necked and
petted with him because I struggled for my sexual identity. I did
not know if I was able to fulfill the role of a sex partner.
I would spend some time petting her breasts, her genital area, her
whole body, both on top and underneath her clothing, and when we
got tired or satisfied, we would talk about sex. What have we done.
How we feel about it. Why we perform the acts we do. Many more
questions were talked about. We would then start all over again,
trying to improve each other's satisfaction and feelings toward sex.
We learned through each other, and it is an education I will never
forget.
We began our junior year smoothly; everything was just great.
Then one Sunday, we were all alone at her house and something
happened. We were lying on the couch necking, and for the first
time I slid my thigh between her legs. For the next few minutes I
rubbed my thigh against her genital region. She did respond
favorably, but that was all that happened. About an hour later, I
could tell that she was disturbed about something. After some
questioning, she finally came out and said, "Will I have a baby
now?" I was speechless for a moment.
She was referring to the
action I mentioned previously. She then admitted that she knew
how babies came out, but not what put them there. Right then and
there she learned as much as I could tell her about foreplay, sexual
intercourse, ejaculation, orgasm, birth control, and conception. I
was not an expert on the subject, but, at least, she knew as much as
I did. She could not understand, however, that during dry
intercourse, if I ejaculated, the sperm could not swim through my
clothes, through her clothes, and up into her Fallopian tubes, thus
causing conception. I tried, but I don't know if I ever really
convinced her that it could not happen.
It was no more than a selfish lustful type of love on my part. What I
learned from this relationship was that I really didn't enjoy having
sex anytime I wanted it with someone I didn't love. There was no
challenge presented to me. No one is satisfied in achieving a goal
that is easily reached. I wanted and needed a challenge, and the
relationship with her provided me with no challenge, and this is
why I could never have gotten serious about this girl.
The subject of challenge comes up in a number of cases-challenge as a factor in
dating.
We taught each other about our bodies and asked questions freely
without embarrassment. We learned quickly; he helped me
understand a boy's desires, and I tried to explain many things
about girls that he did not understand. We conducted ourselves as a
married couple (including sexual intercourse).