We first deal with positive or mixed reactions to adolescent coitus as a regular practice. I (about fourteen and a half years of age) suddenly felt more mature than the other guys I ran around with. We never justified our sexual relationship by saying that we would get married. Rather, we knew it was good because of our immediate deep love for one another. What we did, we did out of real love for another. I very much regret that I cannot consider myself a virgin, because a girl is supposed to be a virgin when she marries.
I am not a virgin, but the
way I became "un-virgin" and the boy I became "un-virgin" with do
not make me feel cheap. What I have learned from our relationship
about sex is the most important achievement I have accomplished.
Sex is not so all-important in a boy-girl association. I know I will
not have sexual intercourse again before marriage. That is one
thing our relationship has taught me that I am sure I will live up
to. At least it has given me definite convictions on sex.
During that year (high school sophomore), I had sexual intercourse
with two girls. The girl I first had coitus with has a "fast"
reputation, and I had terrible guilt feelings at first. I felt that I let
down my parents, my society, and my church. Needless to say,
however, it wasn't long before I pined for more of the same, and
conveniently, a girl finally came along without a "bad rep" that I
could have intercourse with. I used to visit her every Wednesday
night, when her dad had a meeting and her mother had choir
practice.
During the summer between our sophomore and junior years, we
attained enough security to become intimate. Through the summer
and into the school year, we had intercourse many times. At first I
was very frightened and thought against doing it, but it became so
enjoyable that it became a part of our lives, and I felt very insecure
and even in physical pain if we did not have intercourse regularly.
Before Christmas I was pregnant.
Little thought was given to pregnancy in our happy little isolated
world (high school juniors). We were only concerned with each other
and not possible problems. After several months of this dreamworld
existence, the problem did arise; she was pregnant. After
much discussion we informed our parents and planned a hurried
wedding. My senior year in high school was spent as a married
man.
The following cases contain negative responses to adolescent coitus, though
reactions are mixed.
I think and believe that this experience (steady dating including
coitus) has more than any other helped me to shape my basic moral
values in premarital intercourse. It is exceedingly difficult to make
it a good experience. I could not relax to even enjoy it. Too much
guilt, worry, and anxiety become involved. Yet, I do believe that
experience is the best teacher. I do know that if every girl could
experience such an experience as I have, there would be a lot less
illegitimate children in this world. Too often this is the case. It isn't
that kids are getting involved, it is that they are getting caught
before the lesson is learned. It sends chills down my spine to think
what my life would be like today, had I not been as fortunate.
I know now if I ever marry, I will always consider my years with
him as a healthy experience and one to be cherished and never be
ashamed of. I value our relationship as one that helped both of us
in our attitude toward goals and ideals to try and attain. I have
never experienced any other sexual partners besides him, not
because I haven't felt the desire, but because I don't want to become
that engrossed in a person unless I am positive that the end result
will be marriage. I am not condemning my relationship with him,
but only wished we had used more discretion, and that it had
happened when we were both more mature, for I feel that it would
have brought less conflict and would have resulted in a very happy
and fruitful marriage.