The changes brought on by puberty, paired dating under conditions of greater privacy, going steady, little chaperonage, and the potential resulting conditions for heterosexual intimacy, make sexual involvement a major aspect in adolescent dating. Reiss (1964) found that adolescents were more willing to accept coitus when affection was present than they were to accept petting when affection was absent.
During the first years of adolescence, sexual intimacy includes kissing, fondling,
and manipulation by the male of the female breasts and genital organs (Ramsey, 1943;
Sorensen, 1973). As the adolescent age-level increases, there is an increase in the
variety of techniques of sexual intimacy employed and in the frequency of their
appearance. By age eighteen years, approximately 80 percent of the boys in the
Ramsey sample reported kissing, and the more experienced individuals reported such
techniques as deep kissing with tongue contacts, manual manipulation of the male
genitalia by the female, and oral-genital contacts.
The First Kiss
The progression in adolescent dating in terms of seriousness of physical or sexual
involvement is apt to be: holding hands, a little necking, and the first kiss. Reaction to
kiss ranges from ecstasy and sexual excitement to anxiety, frustration, and
revulsion. The first kiss for many dates is a major step in the growing-up process.
A hundred different thoughts were racing through my mind. Should
I try to kiss her? Would she resent it if I tried? If she did resent it, what
if she slapped me? How embarrassing! I finally built up enough
courage to kiss her, and slowly leaned over and gently touched her lips
with mine.
It was beautiful, and I wanted to do it again and again.
It was a very special kiss for both of us; for me because he had
waited so long, for him because it was his first kiss, and as he told
me later, the first time he had been sexually aroused.
It was the first time either of us had ever been kissed. I felt very
uncomfortable doing it, especially when she lost her earring in my
mouth.
He was kind, polite and charming; but he never even kissed me
until our seventh date. It felt wonderful! Here was someone who
appreciated my personality, not just my body.
French, deep, or open-mouth kissing is an encounter in physical intimacy that
not all adolescent daters ever experience. Those who do often regard it as a traumatic
experience either for good or ill.
I did not kiss any girl until I was a junior in high school. Then I
found out fast what French kissing was like. We necked in front of
her house for about fifteen minutes. When we got out of the car I
could hardly walk I was so dizzy.
After a few dates, she (an eighth grader) attempted to French kiss
with me, and I (a ninth grader) wasn't real sure if I should open my
mouth or not. After a few attempts, I figured it was worth a try and
to my surprise it was not as revolting as I had expected it to be, but
that it stimulated me in a way never before experienced.
I French kissed a girl at a drive-in movie and spent what seemed
like an eternity washing out my mouth with water, toothpaste, and
soda pop.