The erotic situation in which the adolescent is involved can be referred to as a segregated role relationship if the relationship is casual. The participants have a clear differentiation of goals and separate interests. The situation is a joint role relationship when the actors are "steadies" or "in love," or when they carry out erotic activities together with a minimum of differentiation or separation of interests. In the latter case, they plan their activities together, or at least with each other's interests in mind, empathize, and are interested in spending much of their time together (Bott, 1956, p. 30).
It is in the latter kind of relationship that concern for the other is paramount. Sexual
exploitation is an example of segregated erotic relationship; sexual intimacy between
two high school students who are in love is an example of a joint role relationship. In a
situation of concern, such as between lovers when one's partner is threatened by the
activity either personally or because of the influence of the generalized other, one is
inclined to modify one's own activity. This is truer of older and more experienced than
of younger, inexperienced actors in sexual encounters. When the adolescent (as ego) is
the youngest member in a sexual encounter, as is often the case in the present study,
such sensitivity on their part to the reactions of the other actor may not be forthcoming.
A role in a sexual encounter is relevant to only part of the motivation of an actor.
No one role involves all of their concerns and commitments. Nevertheless, persons in
sexual roles not infrequently act as though the encounter in question does involve all
of their concerns and commitments, and it may indeed do so temporarily, as in coitus,
for instance. But in the long run, every actor assumes not only sexual roles. They
assume multiple roles in their daily activities as they seek to satisfy all of their
concerns and commitments.
Within the area of sexual concerns and commitments, as new sex roles are taken
on, old motives need to be modified and/or new ones need to be learned. This is not
uncommon, as a relationship that was seen by an adolescent as primarily providing
erotic activity takes on new significance as they become interested in other aspects of
the one they are dating. New motivations become conditions for enactment of new
roles. In addition, a person may begin an act for one motive, but in the course of the
act, they may adopt an auxiliary motive. The high-school boy looking for someone with
whom he can "make out" or "ball" may discover that he has found a friend and that the
relationship has potential for a more lasting association than he had anticipated.
Individuals internalize many motives from the generalized other, motives that
may come in conflict with each other. When motives are in conflict, the actor must
keep one set of motives "secret" from the others. They compartmentalize not only their
conduct but also their reasons for it. Primarily in regard to sexual behavior, which is
such a controversial area of behavior in adolescence, a person is not clear at all times
as to what their real motives are.
Not all sexually-motivated motives are acceptable to both actors, so the
adolescent boy or girl may use one or another motive tentatively (the desire for
companionship, for example) until they find a way to integrate another motive (the
desire for sexual intimacy, for example) into their conduct, and win their partner as an
ally to their erotic acts. Another technique often used by adolescents with their
parents, is for the adolescent to keep secret from their parents their sexual-erotic
motives and their behaviors, either because they are uncertain as to their own
motives, or because they sense that their parents may not approve of their motives
and behaviors. Hence, shifting and borderline sexual situations, having no stability or
commonly accepted motives, may contain several alternative sets of motives in a
fluctuating state for the adolescent.