The fantasy involved in the act was what motivated me to masturbation. Each thing I did physically (touching my breasts, moving my body against the pillow) were reproductions of what was happening in my mind. I was imitating what I had seen on television and also added some to what I had seen. After becoming aware of new possibilities for sexual enjoyment, I incorporated these into my fantasy. My method (a pillow rubbing my clitoris) never varied, but foreplay dominated my fantasies, and intercourse itself was fantasized until I could feel my own orgasm approaching. One thing I think interesting is that the characters in the fantasy had no names or faces.
I was not
visualizing someone I knew, and in this respect fantasy was
impersonal. At this time, I had a boyfriend, and although we didn't
have intercourse, I could reach orgasm through petting and fantasy.
The fantasy in masturbation and petting were the same. The
fantasy was always the same and went something like this: the
scene was a party and three people at the party (I was one of the
three) went to a secluded room, removed our clothes, engaged in
oral-genital sex, communicated in graphic language (usually
dialogue I had read in my brother's books) and culminated the
experience in intercourse and orgasm.
The three people didn't know
each other, so they engaged in sex for pure pleasure at a non-
personal level. The three were usually two women and one male.
This may be interesting because although I had no direct physical
contact with the woman, the idea of having another woman
involved didn't repulse me in any way. In summary, fantasy and
masturbation went hand in hand. I never felt unnatural
masturbating and didn't know it was "bad" until I learned so from
friends and talk in school. My fantasies progressed with my
increasing knowledge of variety in sex. I incorporated what I had
learned into my fantasy. I feel masturbation and fantasy have
been positive experiences for me, both in understanding my body,
and also in enjoying sexual intimacy with my boyfriend.
As attachments with others develop during the adolescent period, the frequency
of masturbation may change. For some it decreases, and for others it increases
(Sorensen, 1973, p. 137). There are new sources of satisfaction, only some of which are
distinctly erotic in nature.
The first time I (a girl) held hands with a boy, and the first time I
was kissed, I felt the sensations that were similar to masturbation.
However, masturbation does not have the prestige that coitus does among adolescent
peers, especially male peers.
According to Sorensen, there appears to be no personal sexual practice about
which adolescents feel more defensive or private about than masturbation. Yet 49
percent of all adolescents reported that they had masturbated at least once-58
percent of all adolescent boys and 39 percent of all adolescent girls. More girls
masturbated at an earlier age than did boys. Most girls who masturbated had started
before the age of thirteen, and most boys before the age of fourteen. Twenty-eight
percent of all adolescents reported that they were currently masturbating-36 percent
of all adolescent boys, and 21 percent of all adolescent girls. Boys also masturbated
more frequently than did girls (Sorensen, 1973, p. 129ff).
Group masturbation occurs in early adolescence. Later in adolescence it may be
regarded as inappropriate to discuss or carry on masturbation in a group setting.
If you were to sleep over at a friend's house, you would have a
contest to see who could "shoot" first. At Boy Scout camp, the entire
tent (five guys) would masturbate to see who could "shoot" the
farthest. It became a commonplace occurrence and much talked
about. No one seemed to have any guilt feelings about it. It was
considered a big joke.
As eighth and ninth grade came around, things started to
change. Suddenly you were considered a queer or a fagot if you
masturbated or talked about it. I continued to masturbate and I
enjoyed it. The only talk of masturbation was that of kidding
someone or joking about it; strictly locker room talk.