This situation (nocturnal emission) resulted in extreme personal embarrassment.
I went to great lengths to avoid discovery by my
parents.
I had several nocturnal emissions before my father explained, and I
was very scared that something was organically wrong with me
when I was secreting such a substance.
I looked at this as a mess-it irritated me to arise at night and have
to clean up a mess, but the dreams were usually pleasurable. I
must admit that sexual pleasure with woman was more of a
conscious desire than before, but nothing was done.
At first I was terrifically embarrassed, thinking I had wet my bed;
the stickiness of my pajamas the following mornings was an
absolute mystery to me! I admitted the fact to my father one
morning. He replied, "It's quite all right, son, as long as it wasn't
intentional." The word intentional threw me for several years, as I
had absolutely no comprehension as to the meaning of that
statement.
My problems wore solved when I happened to read about nocturnal
emissions or "wet dreams." I found that they were a perfectly
natural way of getting rid of stored up sperm. This information was
of great use to me.
First masturbation can be an awesome experience for an adolescent male,
especially if he has not experienced orgasm through nocturnal emissions or coitus.
Most adolescent males have not had the latter experience before beginning to
masturbate.
One time I began to rub my thighs together, and all at once, a
strange feeling came over me deep in my groin. I had achieved
orgasm and ejaculation for the first time in my life. The experience
was a strange and frightening one at the time. I found that by using
my hand to stimulate the penis I could experience this wonderful
new-found feeling.
I had never before experienced anything like it, which goes without
saying. I was thirteen years old.
The first time was a very unique, stimulating, and fascinating
experience. I remember almost reaching climax two or three times
and then chickening out. I sensed something was going to be
ejected out.
It seemed terribly pleasurable.
I remember vividly the traumatic moments immediately after I had
completed the act of masturbating for the first time. I did not know
what I had done or what had happened or if I would ever be able to
urinate again. Boy, was I scared! I was afraid I had committed some
irreparable act. How comforting it would have been to have been
told some of the modern information about masturbation. This
helpful information I found out seven years later!
After the first awesome experience, masturbation often continues as a regular
experience. Of the cases to follow, the first group deals with more or less negative
reactions to masturbation. "Even in our present and relatively informed era,
masturbation may still represent a source of considerable conflict and discomfort"
(Group, 1968, p. 83). The first cases are all male. The latter deal with females. More
adolescent boys than adolescent girls masturbate. The first two cases are, no doubt,
typical of many; namely, a mixture of physical pleasure with feelings of concern and
guilt.