We look first at cases in which the young person views his religious experience as unsatisfactory. The first cases are directly involved with reaction toward teachings of the institutionalized church. In the first case, a Protestant rationalizes non-marital coitus as being more religiously acceptable than masturbation or petting. One finds the same argument from some Catholic youth, though the church would surely regard such an interpretation as a serious misinterpretation of the teachings of the church.
Coming from a traditional conservative Protestant church, I was
steeped in the rightness of everything that is in "God's sight" which
is deeply intertwined with the taboos on masturbation and so forth.
When I finally came to the crisis period in dating, I felt that the act
of intercourse, though wrong, was better than going through all the
disgusting preludes to avoid it, or personal sexual outlets that
might satisfy the sexual drive.
I knew that sexual involvement was wrong. From Sunday school we
had been taught our body was a temple, and to take care of it; to be
pure in heart and mind; and just to abstain from sexual
involvement in general principle, but I have never really been
taught why. I know that was why it was so difficult for me to hold
my ground, because I knew it was wrong, but never knew why. It's
the idea of knowing something, but not feeling it inside. Many
times I'd wake up the next morning after a date and feel wrong
inside. I knew then that if my conscience bothered me, it was wrong
for me.
The legalistic approach of the church in being left at the
starting gate in favor of what is logical and meaningful for the
young adult. When the church catches up to what is actually going
on among its young people, it could hold a significant place in the
life of a young adult by teaching meaningful guidelines for conduct.
We were taught the literal interpretation of the Bible. The aspects
of these teachings that were most influential as far as sexual and
emotional adjustment were concerned were those emphasizing the
importance of chastity and self-control. The need for these qualities
seemed very important to me because of the effective indoctrination
by the Sunday school teachers.
At parochial school, as well as later in Walther League youth group
meetings, boys were separated as carefully as possible. We were
told not to become involved with boys and their activities because it
could lead to "immoral sexual activities." By this time, that phrase
was synonymous with pregnancy. I felt I dared not touch a boy for
fear something indecent might happen.
Anything concerning the sexual organs seemed to be evil. Our
pastor said in church that even looking at a woman and thinking of
having sexual intercourse with her was just like actually doing it.
This was adultery. The pastor of our church would only say that
masturbation and premarital sexual intercourse was a sin, but he
would not explain why. I began to look at that morality as if it was
impossible to uphold.
One of my questions was answered by our pastor at a church youth
group meeting. At one time he said that he wanted us girls to
remember one thing when we started our dating, and that was that
we should not let our lips become a doormat where every boy wipes
his lips off. He told us that some guys take advantage of a girl and
take them out just for that purpose.