Another difficulty in overcoming an addiction is the fact that our conscious, logical brain wants us to stop but our primitive, survival brain doesn't. This creates stress and conflicting drives within us.
A powerful way to transfer power from our primitive brain over to our conscious brain is through simply choosing to participate in the addiction and becoming fully conscious while doing it.
Since we know that the addiction is bad for us, when our primitive brain drives us to do it, our higher brain starts to judge ourselves during or after the addiction.
In an effort to shut off the guilt induced by the thoughts of this logical brain, we ignore or repress the thoughts altogether, effectively giving our primitive brain total power over the addiction until it becomes an automatic and unconscious reaction and we are powerless to stop it.
By consciously choosing to watch and masturbate to porn, we are shifting power back to our higher brain until the addiction becomes a choice rather than an unconscious reaction.
Being conscious means being fully present to the experience. This means being aware of all our senses and focusing on what we are doing in the moment.
Can you remember the last time you scratched your nose? Can you remember what it sounded like, what sensations you felt? Chances are that you can't remember because it was unconscious.
This is how most people masturbate. It's done without being present or focused on one's senses.
Now scratch your nose. Ignore everything else that is going on around you and feel your hand moving towards your nose. Feel the muscles moving and the skin of your hand. Feel your finger touching your nose and then feel the skin where your finger is touching.
This is an example of being consciously aware, fully present, and focused. This is how you overcome an addiction to porn, not through denial but to masturbate while being as conscious as you were when you touched your nose.
You don't have to stop masturbating to porn cold turkey, just do it consciously. Continue this practice of conscious masturbation until the addiction just fades away naturally on its own accord.
Developing a Sexual Relationship with Yourself
There's a powerful saying that goes like this: "Once you learn how to love yourself, you will automatically be able to love others."
Most people have a hard enough time developing a mental and emotional relationship with themselves let alone a sexual relationship.
Masturbating to porn isn't really a relationship with one's self; it's more of a part relationship with self, part imagined relationship with others.
If we let go of porn completely, how are we going to give ourselves some "self-love"?
A better way is to set aside some alone time and become fully present while you
"pleasure" yourself.
Here is my friend Evolver's solution to letting go of addiction to porn and creating healthy masturbation habits:
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"Focus on the sensations in your body and if any images of porn, girls, etc. cross your mind just let go of them.
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