Parties involving dancing, and sometimes intimate dancing, are com
mon in preadolescence in middle-class homes and in the school. Like
kissing, dancing can bring its moments of unpleasantness as well as
those of ecstasy.
The ability to dance caused a new type of party
to evolve. The girls planned these parties which
always centered around the slow dance. These parties
usually started slow and inhibited, the boys
grouping on one side of the room and the girls on
the other.
As the party progressed, however, the
boys, due to group support, gathered up enough
courage to ask a girl to dance.
The dancing was
of the "cheek-to-cheek" kind and if the girl had
no reservations about whom she was dancing with,
the couple usually stuck together throughout the
entire evening.
Parties were held in the basement of her home
occasionally (fifth and sixth grades), and we all
danced in the appealing darkness whether there
was music or not.
I (a sixth grade boy) would have preferred other
games to dancing. For me this came too early and
pushed me faster than I wanted to grow up; however,
I was caught in the false social whirl of
this group and began to think as they did.
Making Out At Parties
Activities of a group or paired nature during preadolescence some
times change from games or dancing into more intimate fondling experi
ences, often referred to by the ambiguous term "making out."
The lights were shut off or the parents would
leave and the "necking" aspect of the party would
begin.... The silence of the party would be broken
intermittently by someone 'cracking a joke,'
changing a record, or getting up to dance.
During fifth and sixth grade home parties, she
and I always managed to get together. More often
than not we crept away to a quiet corner of the
cellar and began doing "our things."
Kissing and
tight embraces proved to be the extent of our
actions, but the opportunity for such behavior
occurred quite frequently.
She had a plump
friend who behaved like an older sister in that
she would make sure that we were left alone and
then sounded a warning if parents were approaching.
I was in the seventh grade.
There were only couples
there. We ate and danced for a while and
then everyone sat on the couch with the lights
out and kissed.
The slow songs and dim lights seemed like
heaven, with a stiff penis being the first pleasurable
sign. Sometimes the girl and myself
would hold each other tighter as the songs progressed
and many times, about half way through a
song, we would start to touch bottoms and really
hold each other tight-oh, I hoped the songs
would never end.
This sometimes led to making-
out after a few songs or just holding hands, but
whatever it was, it was really "neat."