During childhood I had a very sheltered life. One thing I remember is the time the neighbor girl and I (a boy) stripped and examined each other to see for ourselves the differences between our sexes.
Sex play can involve mixed emotions for the child as he tries to
understand and sort out his feelings of curiosity, fear of the un
known, erotic desire, and even guilt.
The child's guilt is reinforced
by the mother in the first of the following two cases. In the second
case, the girl though scolded more than once for playing doctor did not
develop strong guilt feelings.
In the garage three, four, and five year olds
were starting to explore each other's genitalia,
but I (a girl) felt so embarrassed that I
sought an escape in being the door guard in case
anyone came in. Guilt surrounded the whole escapade
both during and after.
But somehow I never
ventured far enough away so that I could not
observe the "action." Afterwards I tried to face
my mother but I felt so terrible that I started
crying and told her about our experience, whereupon
she consoled me and assured me that I did
right in not participating and saying how bad my
cousin and friend were. My first ordeal was over
for me, but the other two received lectures from
their parents after being informed by my mother.
Still, a curiosity lingered and during the
next seven years or so I remember masturbating
and fantasizing, but only quietly (secretly) and
in bed.
Also, occasionally my sister, neighbor
girl, and I would explore her little sister's
genitalia.
I remember the neighbor boy sticking his hand
down my pants in the field by our house one day,
and I can remember being scolded numerous times
when caught playing doctor, but I also remember
that I never had any extended guilt feelings
concerning these activities.
"Playing house" or "playing mother and father" are sometimes more
subtle ways of accomplishing the same goal, namely exposure. Playing
"fun house" is another variation.
Adults would classify the behavior in
the following case as erotic play; the erotic implications of the acts
might not be recognized by the children, however. Sometimes older chil
dren play what is clearly adult erotic roles.
Sexual awakening took place early in my childhood
years. My earliest remembered experience
took place when I was about five or six years
old.
While I was playing with my younger sister,
we decided that as a new diversion we would play
"fun house."
This was accomplished by turning out
the lights in my room, pulling the shades, and
then pulling down the pants of the person making
the tour.
As something "spooky" we rubbed cold,
wet tissue across the genitalia and buttocks of
the person, with the crowning triumph of placing
the soaked tissue between the buttocks, pulling
up the pants over the tissue, and ushering the
person out of the room.