First paired dating during preadolescence involves walking girls home from the show, going to shows together under chaperonage, sitting together on the school bus, and engaging together in sports activities and peer group parties. The boy is not always the aggressor in initiat ing first dates. Sometimes it is the girl; sometimes it is the mother. It is quite evident when we look at dating among preadolescents that dating in the United States serves other functions than that of court ship and mate selection. The following cases, all dealing with first dates, are arranged according to the age of the person at the time of the first date, beginning with fourth graders.
Relations with girls consisted of walking with
them from school to their house.... The bravest
thing a fellow could do was to find out if the
girl you were interested in was going to the
show and then appear at the same show and sit
next to her. After the show you could walk her
home if it was not too far out of your way.
I (a girl) began dating in the fourth grade.
Every Friday night Bill and I would go to the
show and home. His mother chauffeured, and we
would hold hands and kiss good-night.
I began dating in the fifth grade. We met at the
theater quite often.... The situation that made
our relationship unique was the fact that before
we knew each other I was the one that approached
him.... I asked him to go steady with me and the
next day he came to school with his mother's
diamond ring. A friend of mine told the teacher
and the teacher came over to me during class and
asked for it back.My date was a short, plump, and far-from-goodlooking
little boy in the sixth grade. I can
remember bragging to my friends that I was so
lucky to be going out with a sixth grader. My
parents didn't allow me to go anywhere except to
house parties. By dating at this early age, I
believe that I had a premature start at learning
to meet people graciously and with poise.
My mother... was quite perturbed when, in the
sixth grade, I turned down my first date offer.
I don't think our sixth grade boys followed the
normal pattern of not liking girls because all
of us spent a great deal of time together after
school and on weekends. The big romance of the
sixth grade was between one of the boys and
me.... We naturally spent lots of time together
at the boy-girl parties and at other times. He
also took me on my first official date-doubling
with another couple to the Saturday matinee.
He and I developed a great deal of
affection for one another, maybe "puppy love" is
a better term, and it was quite sad when he
moved at the end of sixth grade.
My first date was when I was in the sixth grade.
There were four couples who went to the Ice Follies
by bus all alone. The whole time I was
there I can remember being miserable because I
wished I was with the girls instead of a boy.
After the show we all went over to one of the
girl's houses for dinner and dancing. Again I
repeated my performance of running away when my
date asked me to dance and was actually cruel to
him the whole evening.
I guess I was not ready
for a boy friend just yet, although since other
girls were beginning to have them I wanted one,
too. During these years (sixth through eighth grade)
we used to sit with a special guy on the bus
after basketball games. Going to the games all
of the fellows had to sit in front of the bus,
but going home things would change.
Dating with me began in the seventh grade. It
was a companionship relationship and usually
consisted of riding our bikes, playing tennis,
or going swimming with a bunch of other kids, or
the gang would come to my house at night and
play group games such as hide-and-seek, starlight-
moonlight, etc.
My first paired dating was in the seventh grade.
My friend called for me at home like a perfect
gentleman, and gallantly escorted me to the car
where his father sat patiently waiting. When the
program was over, we waited in front of the
school for his father to pick us up and take me
home.