I was playing with my friend. He had just been to the doctor and was telling me what they had done to him. He showed me his penis, and just as he did so, his mother entered the room hollering and screaming. I remember I was so scared I hid my face in my hands and ran out the door and down the stairs the first chance I had. As I ran home, I knew he was getting a licking...
The earliest situation which I can recall
involving a sexual component, occurred at the
age of five. Jane, my cousin, and myself were
put into the same bed at her home where we were
visiting.
We talked and played for some time as
all children who are told to get "right to
sleep" do. We began playing "doctor." While
playing, we both began toying with each other's
genitals.
I did not receive much stimulation and
was primarily interested in touching and examining
her. I knew nothing about sex at the time
although I was aware that girls were different.
While we were playing, my mother entered the
bedroom and ordered us to get out of bed "that
instant," at the same time turning on the
lights.
I was able to recover my pants but Jane
lost hers in the blankets. When she refused to
get out my mother forced her to. Mother made us
go out into the living room and stand in front
of the adults, not allowing Jane to get dressed.
While I cannot remember the adults' exact words,
they were shocked and angry. I felt extremely
guilty.
Lest the reader get the impression that only parents in Western societies
with their Victorian morality repress sexual activity of children,
we point out that punishment also characterizes the reactions of
parents to children's sexual encounters in some so-called nonliterate
societies.
Susii parents, for instance, do not tolerate sex play of
their children. They beat both boys and girls for indulging in it. Nevertheless,
children find opportunities to escape parental supervision
and engage in heterosexuality. Adults are aware that children "in general"
do such things, but they become upset on learning that a child of
their own has done so.
In sexual situations involving child and parent in the United
States, the parental responses are commonly unambiguous if the parental
response is a negative one. If the parent seems undecided as to
what his own response should be, his response is commonly ambiguous or
he postpones any response to some not clearly defined later time.
The
responses are labeled in parentheses in the cases that follow. An ambiguous
parental response, coupled with apparent affect, is accompanied
by a negative injunction in the following case.
My mother found out what was going on (homosexual
activity involving ego-seven years old-and
a twelve year old boy) since I had confided my
experiences to my younger brother.
She was angry (negative affect), but also a bit confused it
seemed (ambiguous response). She looked at me as
if I were a creature from the outer galaxies.
Then she told me how wrong it was to be doing
things like that (negative evaluation). How I
could have used a good lecture on sex at that
moment!
Although dad never said anything about
the incident, he and mom would come into my room
at night and would ask me questions.
At one time
I overheard dad talking, telling mom that I
should be taken to a doctor (ambiguous response).
Of course this scared me. His parents were also
informed, and we were forbidden to see or talk to
one another (unambiguous negative response).