It is quite rare that parents in the United States show sexual...

It is quite rare that parents in the United States show sexual and erotic attachment for each other in the presence of their children and in ways which a child can comprehend.
As a result children show little awareness of the sexual relationship between their parents. Parents who have good relations with each other are likely to he seen as associates rather than as lovers by their children. (Mead and Wolfenstein, 1955).

My parents never seemed to show any signs or say anything that might make me consider the possibility of them having another side of their marriage besides the family.
As long as I can remember I have never seen my parents show intimate affection in any way toward each other.

I remember in high school when we used to talk about how affectionate couples are that either were going steady, engaged, or just married, and it was hard to imagine my parents the same way.
I don't believe my folks thought of themselves as functioning separately from us. If they did, they did a good job of concealing it.

There was not much sign of mutual attraction between them, but they just seemed to be existing together. When I was alone with my father, at times when he was perturbed, he would sometimes speak nasty things against my mother.
So I figured they were only together and were trying to make a living together. So as I grew up, I grew into this pattern.

I think even my parents' sex expression was subordinated and relegated to a certain time when it wouldn't interfere with the family activities.
Even during high school, I can never recall an instance when I was conscious of the fact that my parents were having sex relations.
They seemed a little embarrassed when they kissed in front of us and showed little outward expressions of love. I cannot even remember seeing them hug. This bothered me while I was growing up.

The general taboo on child-parent sexual encounters in the United States makes any specifically sensory-affectional socialization of the child by parents awkward and out of character. This greatly minimizes the amount of intimacy learning that the child receives directly in the home. The prohibitions are not always as inclusive as in the following case, however.
I have no recollection of the word love ever being used by any member of my family. The outward display of emotion was never encouraged but was, in fact, so discouraged that I came to feel that it was a sign of weakness and was wrong.

A kiss was never used as a sign of greeting or farewell.
This control of any outward display of emotions was so strongly entrenched that I was reluctant all through high school to become involved in any situation which might put a demand on the emotions associated with a relationship between two people of opposite sex.