Mothers who chose to start toilet training before the infant was
five months old had the lowest average rating on a sexual permissiveness
scale. That is, they expressed strong rejection of sex and strict
attitudes about prohibiting sexual play in their children. This tendency
was more pronounced among the mothers of girl infants than among
boy infants.
Early starts on training tended to require longer periods for completion
than late starts, yet the mothers who started early and had
high sexual anxiety completed the task more rapidly than did those with
low sexual anxiety who started later. The difference was statistically
significant. (Sears, et al, 1957, p. 112).
The evidence seems clear
that the mother's level of sexual anxiety-her strictness of attitude
about sex-played some role in her decision to start toilet training at
an early age and to complete it with dispatch. Mothers who had an accepting,
tolerant attitude toward the infant's dependent behavior were
also: affectionally warmer toward the child, gentler about toilet
training, lower in their use of physical punishment for aggression toward
parents, and higher in esteem for both self and husband. (Sears,
et al, 1957, p. 166). It is reasonable to assume that the sexually anxious
mother communicates some of her sexual anxiety to her infant in
toilet training encounters.
Has there been any change in permissiveness of mothers and has
there been any increase or decrease in infant-mother intimacy over the
years? The evidence is indirect and superficial at best. Several students
of child behavior have examined the child-guidance literature and
report a change in attitudes. (Stendler, 1950; Sears, et al, 1957, p.
9-10; Gordon, 1968). The 1890s and 1900s were characterized by a highly
sentimental approach to child rearing as demonstrated in popular periodicals;
1910 through the 1930s saw a rigid, disciplinary approach;
while the 1940s emphasized self-regulation and understanding of the
child. Over the 60 years there was a swing from emphasis on character
development to emphasis on personality development. In the 1914 edition
of Infant Care, masturbation by infants was treated very severely.
It was thought that masturbation would "wreck" a person for
life, and it was to be stopped by tying the infant's legs to opposite
sides of the crib. In subsequent editions there was a fairly continuous
decline in the degree of severity recommended. The 1951 edition of
Infant Care treated masturbation as a rather petty nuisance that might
be ignored. Along with permissiveness went a distinct devaluing of the
satisfactions a child gets from such stimulation. In respect to thumb-
sucking, the curve of severity showed a distinctly declining direction
as well. In fact, during the 1940s instructions regarding the handling
of the infant in all areas became very gentle. This tendency continued
and was carried further in the 1951 and 1963 editions. The 1963 edition
counsels that masturbation is to be treated casually. Habitual
masturbation is never mentioned nor is any attempt made to dispel the
1 Rejection of the suckling infant may be selective by sex, also. In a
Swedish study (Dahlstrom, p. 65) involving 18 families, girl babies
were suckled on an average of only three months after birth; boy babies
were suckled for an average of six months.
myths about this practice. The Children's Bureau estimates that one
baby in three born in the United States in the years since the first
publication of Infant Care in 1914 is an "Infant Care baby" based on
distribution of the publication.
The extent to which greater permissiveness in the literature is
matched by greater permissiveness of parents is not known. It is my impression
that traditional repression of infant and child sexuality is
being relaxed, but the evidence is anecdotal at best. Many mothers show
an awareness of the literature and try to be relaxed about the infant's
sex play, more relaxed than they might otherwise be. (Newson and
Newson, 1963; Lindahl, 1973). Members of the Guyon Society, which has
some chapters in the United States, encourage early expression of sexual
feelings not only with peers but with adults as well. Members of
the Guyon chapters claim to allow their offspring whatever sexual expression
they want. (Personal correspondence with Herb Seal).