Permissiveness in some, but certainly not all, contemporary communes
and group marriages is extended to include infants and children
as observers of and participants in erotic activities of family members.
(Personal correspondence with Larry Constantine).
The following
four cases involve infants and adults and are illustrative. In all four
cases the infants observed adult sexual encounters. In only the fourth
case does the infant ask to participate directly in a sexual encounter
of the type practiced by the parents.
John and his co-spouse Mary (group married) were
enjoying sexual intercourse when his 19 month old
daughter wandered into the room.
She hadn't seen this
before, and her father, realizing she might be upset,
first started to panic and cover Mary with a pillow
(all that was convenient).
Then he realized how silly
that was and just relaxed, smiling and talking calmly
with his daughter.
She wasn't a bit bothered and, in
fact, wandered out of the room as casually as she had
entered. (Constantine).
Janie (2) walked in on her parents making love. She
wanted to be a part of the intimacy and so climbed on
top of her father and thought it was a fun game to
ride on the "horsie." This was repeated at other
times. (Constantine).
Before she was three, Jeannie had shown considerable
interest in sex. She had often been present when her
parents had intercourse. She enjoyed being a part of
their lovemaking, even if only in a psychological
sense of inclusion.
Her parents reported she only had
difficulty with being left out. Gradually she
stressed the desire for complete participation, talking
more of how when she grew up, she would make love
with Daddy too.
It was clear that while happy with
the interaction, she wanted at least to be able to
look forward to full participation. Her sexual-erotic
interest waxes and wanes.
She accepts her parents'
desire for privacy at times; at other times she wants
an active role. (Constantine).
Dianna (age 21/2): "Daddy, would you kiss my clitoris?"
Casually, Daddy says, "Sure." Bends over
and gives her a light smack.
Dianna: "No, do it
long like you do to Mommy."
The father reports
he thought briefly about it and decided there
was no harm in it. Dianna enjoyed it and later
asked for a repeat performance. (Constantine).
Ullerstam in his book, The Erotic Minorities, (1966, p. 46-47)
states that sexual games between parents and infants in Sweden are becoming
increasingly common in younger families. Infant and child sexuality
is becoming a topic of discussion in the Swedish press of late,
as well. (Personal observation by the author, Stockholm, Sweden, January
1973).