Rather than continuous conditioning from infancy on, we practice discontinuous conditioning as far as sexual development is concerned. The "sexless" child is expected to revise his attitudes toward his body and its erotic-genital potential almost totally as he passes from child to adult roles. This is especially true of the male, for we expect aggressive behavior from adult males.
Hence, adult activity demands traits
that are interdicted in children. All too often, the child's natural
curiosity in the area of sex is discouraged, inhibited, and denied by
well-meaning but ill-advised parents.
The infant is not permitted to
explore sex matters as he is permitted to explore other areas in which
he has potential and curiosity.
The child's interest in the naked body
is labeled indecent, questions are put off, false or silly answers are
given to serious inquiries.
All this serves to drive normal and natural
sexual curiosity into secrecy, duplicity, and despair.
Nevertheless, some children discover, one way and another, that
they can produce pleasant and soothing sensations by stroking or touching
their bodies.
The taboo on self-discovery and self-stimulation may
be the chief channel through which sexual repression is passed from
parent to child. There is no evidence that self-stimulation does physical
damage to the child.
Masturbation is an important phase of sex maturing-
a part of the growing up process and not a dangerous habit.
Every child should have some privacy from adult interference for
self-discovery.
Sexual nature develops continuously from infancy,
through childhood, preadolescence, and adolescence, provided it is
given a chance.
The repression of sexuality in girls during childhood
and adolescence could well be the major factor in adult frigidity.
It
is important to establish a milieu in which young children in their own
private world can develop self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-acceptance
as sexual beings.
Besides being permissive towards self-discovery and development,
parents and others could do much better than they are doing in helping
the child to conceptualize his body, its parts, and its functions.
There is no reason to encourage children to form infantile, over-simplified,
and incorrect sexual concepts through offering them false, deceptive,
inadequate, and foolish information about sexuality. Children
have the capacity to deal with accurate sexual concepts.
The parent who is doing his best to give his child an opportunity to understand himself,
to express himself, and to share in the normal experiences of intimate
human life, is making a significant contribution to the
humanness, the health, and the happiness of his child.
Hopefully, self-discovery, the touching and caressing by parents,
siblings, and peers, and the release from feelings of sexual guilt and
shame over the expression of innocent and honest affection will lead to
richer interpersonal relationships.