There is an unwritten rule among middle class parents in the United
States that one parent must not punish another parent's child. This rule
may apply even if that child is caught in what the parent regards as a
reprehensible sex act.
So it usually happens that if a mother detects a
neighbor child in some improper act, she sends the child home or tells
the other mother rather than to punish the child.
Within limits, however,
some adult, especially a relative, may take the disciplinarian
role and apply the negative sanction as in the following two cases. The
sanction is only a mild verbal one in both cases, however, and one unlikely
to infringe on the perogative of the parent.
My aunt discovered us (boy and girl going to the
toilet together) and after a little talk, I think
we both remember that girls go to the bathroom
alone and boys go to the bathroom alone.
I thought masturbation was okay so I showed a couple
of my friends. That's how I finally got caught
in the act.
We three were all sitting on the sofa
of their playroom masturbating when their mother
walked in. She didn't get angry but sat down and
told us to pull up our pants.
She explained how
those were our private parts and not to be shared
in front of other people.
It embarrassed me enough
to stop masturbating with other kids. We never got
together to masturbate again.
Encounters involving sexual intimacy between child and adult can
range from overheard adult sex talk, to totally innocent and accidental
encounters, to sensationally aggressive and violent child molestation.
I do recall that I did have pleasurable experiences
connected with the rectal portion of a
physical examination given me by the doctor during
one illness when I was about three.
In first grade, I can remember my first actual
erection. I was sitting on my teacher's lap, but
was neither ashamed nor embarrassed at the small
bulge in my pants.
It is common in the United States to debase non-marital sexual ac
tivity, and especially that which involves adults and children-incest,
pedophilia, exhibitionism, and child-molestation have become
pejorative terms.
We use the general term pedophilia to define sexual
behavior wherein adults derive erotic pleasure from encounters with
children. Pedophilic practices include exposure of the genitals to a
child, manipulation of a child, and possible penetration of a child,
though the latter is not common.
Adults who expose themselves to children are almost always of the
male gender. Such exhibitionists usually do not pursue the child or ag
gressively seek involvement beyond exposing themselves.
The darkness of the theater made us a little reticent
to search for a seat (seven years old), until
our eyes were adjusted to the indistinctness.
To my
right sat two of my friends and next to one friend
sat a man... He was no concern of ours because many
times parents accompanied their children to the
movies.
What happened then took place so quietly
and swiftly I doubt that anyone else in the theater
was aware of the horrible sensation that we
felt.