Terminology such as 'the curse' or 'sick days' when referring to menstruation certainly produced fear to say the least. When I asked them (my parents) how a person got pregnant, they replied, "you become pregnant only when you are married and in love." I was morbidly afraid of falling in love for fear I would get pregnant.
When Mom came home with a paper-back book for
teenagers, I was very uninhibited, ready to
learn and accept all that life had to offer. I
just wanted to know! Mom said we'd read it
together which I thought was just about perfect.
That night nothing more was said so I
decided to delve in and that night was reading
it in bed when Mom walked in. She said that as
long as I had started it, I could read it on my
own, and if I came to something I couldn't
understand to come and ask her about it.
I was disappointed. But the reading went fine-until I
read the chapter on venereal diseases. Suddenly
I was on very unfamiliar ground. (The book was a
joint effort on the part of a minister and doctor,
and was always clouded with ethereal, vague
definitions.) The more I read, the more I was
confused, so I did as told. I went to Mom and
asked her, and for the first time I saw her completely
flustered.
She finally told me to read
what I could understand, and then went on with
her work. Suddenly all the excitement was gone
and I could feel a wall go up between us. I went
to my room and tried my best to read, but I was
angry and hurt, and the more I read, the more
confused I got. I will never forget that night,
because while I sat in the dark crying, I swore
a solemn oath that I would never let a daughter
of mine feel the confusion and frustration that
I felt.
My mother once in one of our close mother-daughter
talks with me told me about the boy she had
gone with and was very serious about and then
one night he tried to caress her breasts, and
from then on she would never see him again. I
was embarrassed by this revelation coming from
her and she made it sound so horrible that I
swore that it would never happen to me.
I (a girl who asked her mother "Where did I come
from?") was never sure if she meant by seed-the
kind that came from apples in our orchard or
from the oranges that we bought.
Anyway, I had a mental picture of Dad putting a seed inside
mother (by hand), as she squatted on the floor
and my dad sat on a chair in the kitchen.
While on a family trip my mother refused to let
me sleep in the same bed with my sister in a
motel room. I was puzzled, for I saw my father
and mother sleep together, and I wondered why a
brother and sister could not do the same. My
mother quickly explained that boys and girls do
not do that sort of thing when they get to be my
age. That is all she said; I was silent, but I
was not satisfied.
She just tried to drill it into my head that
one's body is a personal thing and got across
the point that anything having to do with sex is
evil, a point which was often stressed. I don't
think she even got around to telling me it was
all right when I got married.
She warned me never to let boys do that (touch
my genitals) because guys talk among themselves
and soon many boys would like me because they
considered me easy. She did not say anything
about intercourse and I did not ask any questions.
Both of us were uneasy. This was the only
time she ever told me anything about sex. I wonder
if she is waiting to tell me right before I
get married.