The only sex education I ever received in the family was one morning when Mother informed me that if I should ever notice a white fluid instead of the normal yellow urine, it was nothing to worry about, it happened sooner or later to all growing boys. Though I have since learned that semen is passed in this manner I was told nothing at that time about the nature of the "white fluid."
There are some reasons why mothers should prepare their daughters
for the menarche and not depend on the school. In a sample of college
students studied by Shipman (1968) he found that the onset of menarche
ranged in age from seven to seventeen years of age. Because of this
variation in age, it is difficult for the school to give instructions
at the "right time." Shipman found that the girls wished their mothers
had played a part in such teaching. It was not so much the information
as the affective support that they desired from their mothers.
The following cases represent sex education provided in encounters
with the parent-sex education which the preadolescent regards as hav
ing been positive and satisfactory.
It is generally agreed by sex edu
cators that the number of cases in which the parents give adequate sex
instruction is far outstripped in number by those in which the instruc
tion is not adequate in terms of attitude, values, or information.
The
following cases illustrate that it can be done.
I would say that 95 percent of my sex education has
come from my mother. She has told me in such a
beautiful way that sex has not become ugly in my
eyes.
As a result of this broad sex education (her mother
told her 'everything'), I never believed any of the
perverted and misleading ideas about sex.
After that talk, I (a seventh grade girl who went
to her mother for sex instruction) have been very
close to my mother. She has been like a sister to
me in that I have been able to talk over anything
and everything with her.
My formal sex education from my father came when I
(a boy) was in the fifth grade. We had very little
difficulty with terms and his explanation of various
reproductive organs and their correct scientific
names was very easy to understand.
I became
aware of the fact that the male produced sperm
which was carried by semen and that I could expect
to have nocturnal emissions as I grew older.
He
explained this was normal and a part of maturing,
that my mother would understand completely the
soiling of pajamas and bedsheets.
These nocturnal emissions, he explained, would be caused by a
buildup of the sperm supply and would serve to
relieve the pressure.
Even though he didn't go into
the mechanics of masturbation, he left me with the
feeling that the pressure build-up was normal and
that it was nothing shameful if it was relieved.
Even most of this information was given in an
unemotional technical language. I was aware that
the joys of this act were a part of love and marriage.
This was especially evidenced by the fact
that the term love was used interchangeably with
the word intercourse.