To get some perspective on the degree of permissiveness or repressiveness of parents, Sears (Sears, et al, 1957) tabulated mothers' reported evaluations of their reactions to sex play among children and the severity of the pressure brought to bear on children. Only two percent rated themselves as "entirely permissive" and an additional fourteen percent of the mothers reported that they had made no attempt to stop sex play when they encountered it.
Miller and Swanson (1958) found
in Detroit that about the same number of mothers said they had done
something about the child touching his genitals as said they had not
done anything. Of the seventeen percent of the population who said
their children had touched their genitals and they had done something
about it, five percent diverted the child's attention, seven percent
used gentle physical prevention or talked to the child, two percent
punished the child physically and two percent used shame or ridicule.
In a recent interview study (Lindahl, 1973), a small random sample of
mothers in Minnesota were asked what they had done when they noticed
their child "handling his genitals-playing with himself." The answers
ranged from complete permissiveness to complete restrictiveness. Except
for five percent of the responses that could not be categorized,
twenty-nine percent were completely restrictive while sixty-six percent
gave answers that could be categorized as slightly to entirely
permissive, with twenty-four percent falling in the entirely permissive
category.
There is much variation from society to society as well as within
societies as to permissiveness of children and adults. A permissive attitude
is taken toward autogenital stimulation of children and adolescents
in most societies, while adult masturbation is generally frowned
upon. In some societies masturbation is condemned regardless of the individual's
age, but in many societies it is believed that for the young
boy or girl masturbation is a natural and normal activity. Among the
Hopi and Sirion, masturbation passes practically unnoticed during early
childhood, adults taking a tolerant and permissive attitude toward all
sexual behavior at least until the age of puberty. (Ford and Beach,
1951, p. 188).
Among the Pukapukans of Polynesia, where parents simply ignore the
sexual activity of young children, boys and girls masturbate freely and
openly in public. Among the Nama Hottentot no secret is made of autogenital
stimulation in early childhood. Young Trobriand children also engage
in a variety of sexual activities. In the absence of adult
control, typical forms of amusement for Trobriand girls and boys include
manual and oral stimulation of the genitals and simulated coitus.
Young Seniang children publicly simulate adult copulation without
being reproved; older boys masturbate freely and play sexual games with
little girls, but the boys are warned not to copulate on the grounds
that this behavior would weaken them.
Lesu children playing on the beach give imitations of adult sexual intercourse, and adults regard
this as a natural and normal game. On Tikopia small boys induce erections
in themselves through manual manipulation, and this is ignored
or, at most, mildly reproved by adults. Little girls also masturbate
without being punished. (Ford and Beach, 1951, p. 189).
The parent in the United States often states that he does not feel
free to be permissive because of what the grandparents or the neighbors
might think or say. If their child consistently behaves in a manner
which others disapprove of, the other children are told not to play with
the misbehaving child. (Sears, et al, 1957). Knowing that their child
will be ostracized if he does not conform to neighborhood standards even
if his own family disagrees with these standards puts pressure on the
parent to have their children conform.