"Baby I am so sorry. I wanted to come to you, but you were so excited
about it all and I didn't know how to bring it to you."
"What do you mean? There has never been anything that you
couldn't tell me. Michelle why? What gave you the right to take that life?
What were you thinking?"
Charles continued to yell at Michelle. His eyes began to fill with tears
as the union that he had played over and over again in his mind grew
further and further away. He knew that his dream of being a father
would have to wait. Pain entered his heart like an arrow, piercing the
core of his love. He prayed aloud for the LORD to take away his feeling,
because he couldn't handle the pain. He prayed for the LORD to take
away his memory, because if he couldn't remember what he had heard,
then in his mind, it never happened.
"Michelle," he repeated several times as his rage calmed. "What in the
hell were you thinking? More importantly, why have you lied to me?
Don't answer that, you may lie again."
"Baby, I never meant to hurt you." She said as she attempted to hold
him.
"Bull shit," he said as he pushed her arms away, "that is so cliche.
You meant to do just what you did. Who gave you the right to take away
my child, our child? You didn't even say a word to me. Not one word
and you expect for me to understand. I got to get the fuck out of here."
"Baby where are you going? Please don't leave! Don't leave me now,"
Michelle cried. "Please Charles don't leave me!"
"I need to go," Charles said softly, "'cause if I stay here, if I stay here."
Charles said pointing in her face then turning and reaching for his
clothes that sat at the edge of Michelle's bed.
"Charles, if you leave," Michelle said grabbing her robe, "I am going
with you. We need to talk." She insisted.
"No," Charles said stopping in his tracks and looking over his
shoulder, "we needed to talk three months ago."
Charles walked out of the apartment with Michelle close behind
pleading for him to stay and talk with her. He got into his car, which
was parked on the street in front of her apartment building. Michelle
removed his cellular phone from the passenger seat and found her way
into the car, much to the dismay of Charles.
"If you're leaving," Michelle reiterated, "I'm going with you."
"Whatever you say," Charles said as he started the car.
For a few miles, Charles drove in silence. He kept one hand on the
steering wheel and the other he used to wipe away the silent tears that
fell. He glanced over at Michelle who was also crying silent tears. She
looked at him and again she apologized.
"Baby, I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to take away your
dreams of being a father. I know now that I only thought of myself and
for that I know that I am to blame. But we can try again, later. Now just
wasn't the time. I want us to be married and have more of a foundation.
That is all I want you to see."
"You are confused. I understand all that you are saying. The point
that you are missing is that you never gave me an opportunity to agree or
to disagree. That is the reason I am so upset. You took my child's life
without talking to me about it. Then you lied to me. Had me thinking
that you were still pregnant."
Charles rage returned with vengeance as he stepped on the gas pedal
increasing the speed of the car. He drove around the sharp turns of
Pacific Coast Highway 1 at high speeds with Michelle crying and pleading
for him to slow down. He ignored her request and continued to drive
erratically around the turns, while asking her how it felt for someone else
to have her life in their hands.
"How does it feel? Tell me, how does it feel, to know that I have the
power to take your life without you having anything to say about it?"
"Charles please," Michelle screamed, "please stop! I am so sorry for
what I have done. Please stop!"