Brandon and Gwen discussed the past few weeks since they had not been able to see one another for one reason or another. Gwen learned that in the last week Brandon had started a business for himself. Gwen listened to the details of the business and congratulated him on his new success. Brandon told Gwen that he hoped to one day provide her with the man that she hoped for. Again feeling uncomfortable, Gwen excused herself from the table to take a moment to think.
"Did I say something wrong?" Brandon asked as he stood.
"No, I just need to make sure I don't say anything wrong," she said as
she headed for the ladies room.
Confused, Brandon sat and questioned what had just transpired. He
thought vehemently about Gwen's reaction to his response and it didn't
sit well with him. Shortly after the exchange, Gwen returned to the table
looking refreshed. Brandon immediately questioned her previous
actions, saying that his remark didn't warrant that type of response.
Gwen composed herself, looked Brandon in the eyes and spoke honestly
to him.
"Brandon, I apologize for walking away the way that I did, but there
are a few things that are troubling me about this second attempt at love."
"Things like what?" Brandon asked.
"Please don't ask any questions. Just let me talk at you for a
moment, then whatever it is that you would like to say, I will be open
enough to listen to you."
Brandon agreed to listen to what Gwen had to say without
interruption.
"Brandon," Gwen began,
"when I let you back in, I let you in with the
thought of us being friends. I never meant for you to think I wanted
another relationship. When Jes passed, there was a void in my life that
could not be filled. My heart, already fragile, was again being punctured
by the loss of someone that I love. Questions filled my head.
Doubt filled my thoughts. Loneliness encompassed my world and you stepped
in and helped me to remember life before my pain. It was as if I was
emotionally bankrupt and you were there to make affectionate deposits,
which was a side of you that I had never experienced. On the other
hand," Gwen continued as she sipped the glass of water the waitress
brought to their table, "you still have a lot of the old Brandon in you.
You still have an excuse for everything that doesn't make sense. You still
can't commit honestly to one woman.
You still lie, stay out late and need
the companionship of several women to fulfill your quest for manhood.
That is a part of you that I can't have in my life again."
"I guess that would explain why you wouldn't make love to me,"
Brandon said adjusting himself in his chair.
"Yes that is why. I can't completely trust you and how could I give
myself to a man that I can't trust? It's more than the trust issue. I
guess what it really boils down to is the fact that I just don't want to be
in a relationship with you. I don't mean to be so forward, but I need to
be honest with you and make sure that you understand that I am saying
goodbye."