Gigolo awoke in the middle of the night to find his overnight guest lying motionless in his bed. He moved slowly hoping not to wake her and walked to take a look at the San Fernando Valley out of his mountainside window. He thought the scene of different colored lights giving vision to the night was peaceful. Gigolo was feeling the pressure in his heart and the happiness that he saw in Allen and Gwen's relationship and that pressure was ringing loud saying it was time for him too, to settle down. He questioned his actions over the last few years and settling down was the one thing that he had been afraid to do.
He knew that sexual
relationships with every woman he came in contact with, was not going
to last long. He also knew that he was getting tired of that life and was
feeling the need to have more. As he glanced out the window, he noticed
a couple standing next to a car talking in the driveway of a neighboring
home. He cracked the window to inhale fresh air and heard the
beginning of a familiar song from another home that was playing music.
The song, Gigolos Get Lonely Too, spelled out the exact sentiments that
Gigolo felt. While he listened to the song, he looked over at his guest and
thought about the relationship that he shared with her.
It was a
relationship filled with sex, at his beck and call and an occasional outing.
What Gigolo liked about the arrangement was that there was never any
argument about wanting more. He wondered, as he looked at her
sleeping, if she could be the woman that he would be willing to settle
down with. Gigolo walked over to her and kissed her back as she slept.
The slight kiss caused her to awake and turn to face him.
"What was that about?" She asked as she stretched.
"Andreah," Gigolo began as he stroked her arms, "how do you feel
about the way we are?"
"What do you mean and where are you going with this?"
"I mean, are you happy with the way we are? Have you ever thought
of more than what we do?"
"Gigolo, I don't think you could handle me wanting more. I accept
what we have even knowing that there are other women that you see."
"How do you feel about that?"
"How am I supposed to feel, you are not my man?"
"Is that something that you would like for me to be?"
"Is that something that you are ready to be? Can you give up the life
that you live? The many women that you have in your life, are you ready
to let them go?"
"I think I am ready to let them go."
"Baby, before you go any further with this conversation, know that I
love you and I may be foolish for feeling that way about you, but if you
only think, not know that you are ready to let them go, then that tells me
that you are not ready yet."
"I know that I am ready to let them go. I am just afraid."
"What are you afraid of?"
"Karma maybe? Maybe all the pain that I have given in my life,
intentionally or unintentionally, will be given to me when I let my heart
go completely."
"You know, you're a penny short from making sense."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means that you can think about what is important to you, but you
can't make it happen. You know what you want and you know what to
do to get it, but you don't know how to start the process."