Shawn hesitated before answering, wondering if she should answer the question with the truth or with what she thought Allen wanted to hear. She thought if she answered with what he wanted to hear, it would help the conversation get back to silence and ease the pain in her heart.
"Nothing, why, what are you thinking?" She asked as she stirred her
salad with her head down.
"I was thinking about the way you could be feeling now and I wanted
to apologize if I have hurt you in any way."
"Why do you have to be so damn polite all the time? Why do you have
to be so damn nice all the time? Why do you have to be so damn
concerned all the damn time? Why?" She smiled. "I guess that is why I
like you so much."
"That is what I know so that is what I do."
As the conversation again warmed up for the two of them, Shawn
began telling Allen about her plan for being in LA. Allen offered his help
in any way that he could and Shawn accepted by immediately asking
him if he knew of any open positions in his office. He told her that he
would check on it and get back to her in the next few days. The waitress
cleared their table as Shawn wrote down all of her contact information
for Allen to have for himself and for potential contacts. As they stood,
Shawn thanked Allen for his honesty and jokingly told him that they
would have to get together for more than lunch next time. Allen smiled
and responded that lunch or dinner would be the best that he could do
as he pulled her chair out for her to stand.
"If only I had my things together when we met, things would be much
different now."
"If only," Allen said as he walked her to her car, "if only."
Allen drove home reflecting on the afternoon spent with Shawn. He
hoped that she understood all that he was trying to tell her and that he
hadnt sent the wrong message. Allen quickly switched his focus to
Gwen and the fact that he had yet to tell her that he would not be able to
make the auction. He figured that he would just wait until dinner to
break the news to her. He decided to stop by the Cheesecake Factory
and pick up dessert to go with the food that Gwen was planning to bring.
Allen reached for his cellular phone to call ahead to order a tiramisu
cheesecake, hoping that calling ahead would give him the opportunity to
go in and out of the restaurant. Allen arrived at the restaurant shortly
after placing the order and as he hoped walked in and out arriving home
just after 5:30pm. Allen knew that Gwen was normally on time so he
knew that he had about half an hour to get himself situated. Allen
placed the cheesecake in the refrigerator, the papers from the office on
the counter and rushed to take a quick shower so that he could be
refreshed before Gwen arrived.
While Allen showered, he heard the
phone ringing. He hoped it wasnt Gwen, but his instincts told him that
it was. He managed to rush out of the shower to answer the phone with
lathered soap on his chest and a towel wrapped around his waist.
"Hello," he said hurriedly. "Yeah, Im fine, just taking a shower and
didnt want to miss your call. Are you downstairs? Ok, Ill leave the door
unlocked."
Allen pressed the button that would allow Gwen entrance into the
building, unlocked the door and returned to his shower. Allen heard the
door close and Gwen say hello to alert him to her presence.
"Hey baby," he called back, "Ill be out in a minute."
"OK. Im going to fix our plates." She said as she reached for the
remote to turn the radio on.
"Sounds good. Theres a treat for you in the refrigerator."