Shawn led Allen to their awaiting table and began giving him the rundown on her new life. She told him that she made the decision to leave the FBI and Indianapolis six months ago because of a need for change. She again told him how their meeting and conversation helped her to regain the esteem she lost. After a few moments of conversation they placed their drink orders with the waitress and began to look over the menu. They both felt a strong urge for salad, so Allen decided he would order a chicken salad and Shawn the tuna salad.
Shawn went on
to tell Allen that she thought a lot about her life and where love would fit
into it. She asked Allen if he was still an available man. Allen began to
explain to Shawn that he had met someone since their encounter and he
was very much into her. He told her that he in fact loved her. Shawns
head dropped momentarily then she responded by saying there will come
a time when he would call on her. She went on to say that when he did
call, she would be there. Allen looked at Shawn and smiled as their food
was placed on their table.
"So tell me about her," Shawn said as she sprinkled a little pepper on
her salad.
"About who?" Allen said, knowing she was talking about Gwen.
"Who else," she asked, "this new love of yours, the woman who was
smarter than I was. Tell me about her."
"Well," Allen started, "her name is Gwen, shes an attorney and very
beautiful, inside and out. Shes thoughtful, caring, very sweet,
considerate and most times I cant believe that we found one another."
"So how long have you been dating her?"
"Just a few months, but it seems like its been longer."
"So you mean there is still hope for me?" She smiled.
"You know Shawn," Allen stopped all he was doing to focus on what
he was about to tell her. "I dont know what your intentions are. I dont
know if you are trying to be my friend or if you are trying to let me know
that you are ready to be in a relationship. If that is the case, please
understand me. Right now, you and I can be no more than friends. Do
you understand what I am saying to you?"
"Well, thats a little direct. Can you really say that? Can you honestly
say that theres no possibility for us?"
"I can honestly say that there is no possibility for us to be together at
this time. I dont know what tomorrow holds."
"Well I guess Ive wasted your time by asking you here?"
"If this was your reason for asking me to have lunch with you, then
yes, you have wasted my time and yours."
"Im sorry Ive wasted your time," Shawn said dropping her head.
"Shawn, Im not saying that we cant talk or have lunch or dinner, but
I am saying that at this time, there is no chance for us."
Shawn and Allen sat in silence as they ate the salads occasionally
looking at one another. Allen hoped that he had said nothing that had
offended Shawn and though hurt inside; Shawn hoped that Allen would
have a change of mind. She hoped that he would see the changes that
she made in her life and give her the opportunity to be all that he talked
about when he stood outside of her hotel room.
"What are you thinking about?" Allen asked through the silence.