Shawn stood and looked at Allen as she nodded her head in aggreance. "I do understand what you are saying. And who is to say that something can't come from this meeting? I don't live my life worrying about who will love me or who just wants me for sex. I live my life for the moment. I have been living it that way because I never thought there were men like you still living."
They both share a quick laugh.
"Allen it's good to know that you want those characteristics from love
and I hope that you find them. I can't say that I can give them to you
because I am very unstable. I don't know if I want a relationship or
sexship. That's how it's been for me."
"But Shawn, there is so much more to you. I sat tonight and listened
to you tell me about your accomplishments. You hold a BA in Chemistry
from Southern. You hold a Masters from Howard. You have a great job
with the FBI and you're telling me that you're not worth a good man. I'll
tell you this. I'll be here for the next eleven weeks. If you get it right.
You know my room number. I am a good man. I am also an available
good man."
"Thank you for seeing the other side of me Allen. I just don't know if I
have the strength to trust love again."
"Love didn't hurt you, that fool who misused love hurt you. You know
my room number." Allen said as he gently kissed Shawn on her lips and
told her goodbye.
Allen walked down the hall as he heard Shawn's room door close. He
decided to walk down the three flights of stairs since he hadn't had any
exercise in a while. Allen entered his room to see his message light
blinking. He began to check them and then decided to get comfortable
before doing so. Allen turned on the shower and the complimentary in
room CD player. He put Jill Scott's platinum debut CD in and undressed
for his shower.
Allen walked naked into the bathroom to retrieve a towel
then stood in the window to view the Toronto night. Cars drove by slowly
as light snow fell and pedestrians j-walked. Allen again began to think
about how important it was that he had a foundation for love. While the
song "He Loves Me" played, Allen thought about the love his parents had
for one another and thought of how special it would be for him to have
that type of love for someone.
He wondered how long it would be before
he would be able to take long walks in the park with that special
someone. Or arrange a candlelight dinner in a restaurant where he and
his mate were the only two there. He would arrange for her to be
serenaded by a soft piano and bathed in long stem red roses to symbolize
his love for her. He wondered how long it would take for him to be able
to be called husband or best friend by his special someone.
"Well as long as GOD knows that I am doing it HIS way, it will
happen." Allen said as he removed himself from the window and
proceeded to take his shower.