"I'll take a fur-burger and thighs with a cherry bendover to go."
Hot Brenda and Hot Carl
A sick-bay commando in The Marine Corps is somebody
who burns a great deal of sick-time, or visits sick call
frequently. It is merely an attempt at getting out of doing
unpleasant work. I knew Corporal Olsten, but it was a
miracle that we had ever met. We only worked three days
in common due to having different weekend days, and he
called in sick so many times we rarely crossed paths.
Corporal Olsten loved to have women sit on his face.
He claimed that his nickname in the Corps was Applause,
because he had caught the clap so many times. He loved
the facial so much that he did not mind if unpleasant things
occurred on occasion. Olsten tells a story about a time
when he was a young Marine. He and a drunken married
woman whose husband just left town on a military tour of
the Western-Pacifi c Ocean got together for some strange
activities. Olsten called it a "Hot Carl," and it involved
him lying on his back with Saran Wrap covering his face.
Meanwhile, the drunken lady squatted down and shit on
him. I do not know if it was hot, but I bet the fi rst person to
do it was named Carl. After telling the story once, Olsten's
nickname was just that, Hot Carl.
I am sure somebody knows why Brenda was nicknamed
"Hot Brenda" by the inmates, but it can not be because she
was hot. You could see the hail damage through her pants.
Her hair made her look a little like Captain Kangaroo (also
a prior Marine), and she had some DSLs, so I could see why
an inmate might think so.
Ironically, Corporal Olsten was working overtime in a
control station. His intention was to build a day and half of
comp time to take off more time, but it was diffi cult for him
to accomplish because he almost always took off a sick day
in the same pay period, nullifying his overtime earnings.
"Oh come on, and Princess Fiona doesn't look half bad
as an ogre either."
"Well, she has those ear-handles, those DSLs, and those
fat titties!"
"Yah, but she's one chromosome away from
mongolism."
We had told each other a few Marine stories and had
come to the realization that we both thrived on Captain
Morgan. Then I asked him, "How much Morgan would it
take for you to screw Hot Brenda?"
"Most of a handle." he replied.
"Would you let her sit on your face?"
"Got any Saran Wrap?"
Before he knew it, I had called half of my buddies, and
explained to them that Hot Carl was looking for some Saran
Wrap. Each time I told the story, it got better and more in
detail. Then it got back to Brenda. Any possible future
hanky-panky that she might have been contemplating was
now a distant fantasy. She was pissed. Brenda immediately
called Lieutenant Andrzejewsky, hoping she could calm
the storm of ribbing she had begun to take. Unfortunately
for me, Andrzejewsky took the professional approach, and
ordered Brenda to write an incident report. That report
showed up on Andrzejewsky's desk, who then forwarded
it to the Major. It then became an investigation of sexual
harassment featuring me and Hot Carl as the co-defendants.
I was still on caseworker probation. Hell, I was not even
half-way through with it. This could not go well.
I knew they were not taking it seriously when it was
assigned to Unit Manager Robin Lyons. He is not a bad
guy as far as unit managers go. It was just widely known
that he was not into investigations, and that he and I were
pals. I knew that he would recommend that it get dropped
like a hot rock.
Dream Journal
How invisibility happened, I do not know. I simply
hoped to be and I was. Once in that state, I naturally
searched for girls' locker rooms. My idea was to get in
the showers and wash all the girls with lots of soap suds. I
was invisible, and they closed their eyes, so they thought it
was just another girl washing their backs. Standing behind
them, and carefully sliding the head of my pecker in the
crack of their asses was slippery work with all those suds.
They never said a word. I was so gentle. Then I would wrap
my arms and hands around their front to fondle their always
ample breasts, while carefully sliding my pecker between
their butt-cheeks.