"You're a little like democracy. You suck, but you're better than the alternatives. You know, democracy; you don't always get your way, but you always get your say."
Neptune
I do not know why my high school science teachers did
not feel that it was necessary to inform the student body
that Neptune was actually farther away from the Sun than
Pluto during my high school years, but the fact remains
that they did not. Perhaps, they did not know it themselves.
Astronomical facts such as these have little impact on our
lives, and that particular one has even less, because as of
February 1999, Pluto had regained status as the farthest
planet from the Sun, and would have retained that title for
roughly the next 300 years if it were not for the fact that Pluto
was recently dropped from the list of planets completely.
I only bring this up because I am certain that at my 20-
year reunion, my classmates were arguing which of the two
planets was my current residence.
By virtue of running my mouth, my class president
decided to schedule times when classmates could stand
and talk about themselves, and what they had been up to
over the last 20 years since graduation. Again, by virtue of
running my pie-hole, I was volun-told to go fi rst. They knew
I was snapping when I addressed the class. I stepped to the
make-shift podium, and turned my attention to a table where
my two worst high school antagonists sat with their wives.
During part of my "Life Update" presentation, I made the
following comments:
"There have been a few times in my adult life when you
two have crossed my mind. The fi rst, I recall was a few years
back. I had some unfavorable circumstances at a previous
employer that created a very negative, long-term situation
for my family. My father told me this: "Charlie, I have a
friend in Michigan who is an associate Superintendent in the
Detroit Public School system. He is the straight member of
a large family with tremendous infl uence in the Detroit area
mob. He tells me that some people just need killin', and that
my judgment is such that I probably have a couple of freebies
coming. Give me a name and an address." The second time
I thought of you two was much more recently. You see, I
am now an employee at the State Penitentiary. I have been
approached by a branch of a small gang. Propositioned
might be a more accurate term. You see, occasionally, I get
comfortable and run my mouth too much about my personal
life. They caught on and mentioned that they could arrange
certain things in exchange for my cooperation. I declined
at the time, but you know how they operate. They might
just have you bumped off and then tell me that I owe them
one."
Dream Journal
She did not have a name, but she was so real. She
started going to my school in my sophomore year. She
was a year older, in the junior class. She had long blonde
hair, green eyes, large fi rm breasts, and a kickin' back side.
Slightly heavier than the typical high school anorexic, just
the way I had always wanted. I was a virgin, and this
dream was so real and so in depth, and so long, I did not
know I was dreaming. It seemed to last an entire semester,
but was complete in one night. We made out and she would
let me get my hands in her shirt while she tugged on my
pecker. Then it happened. After basketball practice, I sat
in an empty locker room. She walked in with a lusty look in
her eyes, claiming it was time she took my virginity. That
is when I noticed the large bulge in her shorts. She pulled
down her shorts to reveal the biggest cock I had ever seen.
Imagine three beer cans stacked, and you will begin to get
the idea. As she started to approach, I turned to run. I
tripped on some towels and fell. Before I could get up I felt
her hand in the middle of my back, holding me down, while
her other hand jerked my shorts down. As the helmet of
her cock pushed through, and the shaft made its way into
my ass, I woke to fi nd I was shitting myself and sweating.
The scary part was that I had a monster erection. I do not
know what that means. I hate to think. I do know that the
16-year old in me was broken hearted. If I had known I was
dreaming, I might have had better control (and she defi nitely
would not have had a penis.).