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The Deal-Breaker

Chapter 7


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"In the interest of self-preservation, I'm going to avoid that."


The Deal-Breaker


When I was a kid, our family took vacations in this old Ford station wagon. I have no idea what model year it was, but the back end could be used to hold groceries or children, complete with fold-down seats. Two children could easily sit on either side, facing each other. Ford engineers probably did not think about it at the time, but sitting sideways in a moving vehicle caused many a child to upchuck on the one sitting across from them.


Our wagon was old, and the carpet had been torn out after it was completely ruined by some older siblings repeated travel sickness. At this point, rust had eaten a hole, large enough to watch the pavement going past, but not large enough for father to worry about losing a small child through it. The world became our urinal through this hole. Dad knew we were doing it. In fact, he encouraged it.


He did not have to stop nearly as often, and we made much better time on long hauls. He warned us frequently, "Don't forget. Aim carefully. And don't stick your pecker through the hole, the shocks are going." I never knew why he told us that until I met inmate Pleskac. He had lost his penis in a car accident. Whether it was ripped off clean, or grinded off, he was not clear. I did not pry. My mind fl ashed back to the potential nightmare of having my schwance removed while trying to piss through a rusty hole at the same time the car bottoms out.


It was an early August morning, and the temperature was approaching the mid-80s already. As I watched out the back of the offi ce window, I could see an inmate pull down his pants, and shove a plastic wrapped sausage in his ass. Then he pulled it out, unwrapped it, and ate it. It was a dare for a fat cigarette.


I saw my fi rst butt-fucking. I was doing count, and I stuck my face in the window where two black cell mates resided. One was bent over the toilet with a centerfold laid out on his back. The other was just pulling his pecker out of his ass. There was blood on the fl oor and shit on his dick. They were cousins. I think I will skip lunch today. One of my inmates got kicked out of church for jacking off in the confessional. He claimed it was part of his penance.


Joe "The Hammer" Ruth shot his wife in the head because she had aborted their third child without his consent. Other than that isolated incident, I would say he has one of the fi nest attributes a human being can have, in my opinion, and that is kindness without motives. One Saturday morning when I was at work with a huge hang-over, he "accidentally" left a V-8 on my desk. Now I was concerned for several reasons. First, I should not have consumed alcohol in such quantities; second, I should not have come to work in this condition; and thirdly, I should not have accepted this gift from an inmate. Never, did he ask for any return favors. He left it because he was genuinely concerned for my health and well-being.


The Hammer gets out next year, because his now ex-wife actually lived through the shooting. She must be some sort of fucking Ninja, because he put six holes in her. Attempted murder carries quite a lesser sentence than actually killing somebody. The Hammer still talks about wanting to get married and have kids when he discharges. He will be 46 when he gets out next year. It should not be too diffi cult fi nding a woman of child-bearing age with which to build a relationship. It should not be too diffi cult to get her to fall for him. When she asks him where he has been all her life, let alone the last 15 years, the answer could be a deal-breaker.


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"I've got to tell you, I've gone to sleep with happier thoughts."


Psychology of the Snake


Ok, so I am an asshole. I have spent the better part of my life doing stupid shit, and making fun of people for a myriad of "no real reasons" from their name needing an Ellis Island refund to saying things like, "in and of itself." One day, a co-worker, Shane (Rock) Girdlestone, asked me to make a drawing for him. Not just any drawing. It was intended to indicate something about my personality. He asked me to get a piece of paper and a pen. In my mind it was clearly a joke, so of course I am cautiously optimistic.


As soon as Rock tells me to draw a house, the sun, a snake, some water, and a tree, I am reminded of a bullshit task I performed in the past that was supposed to wind up looking like something. I had previously heard and seen a joke drawing where the collective lines were made to look like a naked man bending over to pick up a bar of soap, with his asshole glaring into the viewer's eye, so I attempted to make mine look that way.


It turned out to not be the same joke. In fact, it was not a joke at all. The task was intended to have serious implications, in the hopes that people could learn more about my personality. Rock explained that the house represented me, the sun - my relationship with my father, the snake - my sexuality, the water - my relationship with my mother, the tree - my intellect. I was expecting something else.


After studying my drawing, Rock then explained to me that I must be very close with my father, since the sun was touching the house. Closer, in fact, than my mother, represented by the water just out the front door. The height of the tree indicated that I was fairly intelligent. The size and location of the snake that was supposed to represent my sexuality was very concerning. The snake took up the majority of the paper, spanning three-fourths the width and height of the paper, and surrounding the house and the sun. Nobody wanted to speculate what that might indicate. Exstrom said we should just shred mine.

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