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SALT ON THE NUTS
 
 
 
 
 




He gave me a wink...

 



He gave me a wink and whispered, "Some of those assholes are pretty famous. Some real bigwigs. Politicians, actors, the whole shit and kaboodle. We're sitting on a goldmine." He stood up and staggered towards the men's room. I thought my brain was going to explode it was so far into overdrive. Brewer, the Chief, and Rose had been in business together the whole time. Did Brewer tell Mason about the NIS agent? He couldn't be that goddamn stupid but who knows. The Chief didn't act like he knew, but was he holding out on me? If he did know, I don't think he would have told me about their dirty little blackmail business. Man, if I could just get my hands on those photographs. That could buy me a little bargaining power down the road if things got hinky for me. Who knew long it would take Brewer to start bumping his gums at the penitentiary about killing a NIS agents and some snitch would feed that info to the administration in hopes of an early release. Mason and his wife, an old Filipino hooker that he referred to as "Mommy" - "Mommy" once blew me behind the boathouse at a wild drunken party - lived in a shitty little one bedroom apartment in Pearl City. I couldn't imagine that he would be stupid enough to keep that kind of sensitive and hot material in his house where his wife could find it.


The floor safe in his office at the boathouse! That had to be it. The old bastard seemed to have his head down inside of it every time I walked in his office. And I think I knew where the combination would be. He was too much of a rummy to keep it memorized. I could see it in my head like I was watching a movie. The Chief, looking pissed, would slam the safe shut, sit up, and close the desk drawer on his right side and then bark out "what the fuck is it?" He then would take his keys out of his pocket and luck up the desk with a flourish. I waved to the bartender just as I heard the bathroom door slam shut.


Two double shots of Jack Black and a frosty beer chaser were waiting for the Chief when he sat his fat ass down on the stool. The Chief's car was a new model Thunderbird and was a breeze to drive. Power steering so smooth you could turn the car on a dime with one finger. I had driven it many times after the Chief had gotten too loaded to get behind the wheel. Those last two shots of Jack I knew would put him over the edge. Brooks was sprawled out in the back, passed out, but still muttering racial epitaphs - "cracker" "fucking honky" "white slut" - in his alcohol inspired nightmares. The Chief had rested his head against the passenger window and was snoring lightly. I was fingering his key chain trying to feel for the desk key that I knew was on there when I pulled up in front of the house that Brooks and his wife rented.


I quickly turned the car off and jumped out and walked around the back of the car as I slid the desk key off the ring and slid it into my pocket. I opened up the passenger door. "Chief, I need a hand to get Brooks up on to his porch." Mason stood up shakily and suddenly bent over and heaved out a huge amount of Tennessee sipping whiskey on to Hawaiian soil. I quickly jumped back to avoid the splatter. "Watch it, goddamn it!" "Oh, yes. Feeling better already." He pulled open the back door and pulled Brooks out by both feet. Standing him up, we each took an arm and draped it over a shoulder, and dragged him up to front porch. We laid him down on a reclining lawn chair. Brooks had a wife who was a notorious bitch and neither of us was willing to ring the doorbell to wake her up and hear her shit at this hour.


The Chief began to giggle and then started to undo the front of pants of the passed out sailor. "Chief! What in the hell are you doing?" I whispered urgently. What the hell was the crazy old bastard going to do? Blow him? "Go to the car and look under the passenger seat. I got a fuck book under there." Pulling out the magazine from under the seat I quickly glanced at the title. Anal Adventures From The Beaver Trail. The cover had a buxom blonde on it who was bent over and spreading her cheeks as she leered at the camera from between her legs. Her asshole was spread so wide you could have thrown a silver dollar inside. When I got back to the porch, Mason had posed Brooks half naked with his hand wrapped around his dick. He set the magazine gingerly on his lap.




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