An unmarried young man of the above described healthy type, who argues that some day he shall marry, who thinks that somewhere in the world the woman is waiting for him, who does not harbor the delusion of the sexual necessity, who has resolved that he shall expect virginity of his bride and that she may expect the same of him, who is aware of the harm and dangers of extra-marital coitus, and who, having thus fortified himself, dismisses from his mind the whole question as settled for him such a man has clear sailing. The fellow who gets in trouble is the weak man, who vacillates, who entertains erogenous thoughts with himself as a party, and who goes half way and attempts to recede he has no business with the single standard of sexual morals; it will make a fool of him. Dalliance is not abstinence.
I do not conceive of a man suffering from the ills of continence or growing impotent who
has been cast away on a desert island, with no immediate prospect of relief, and whose mind
and hands are occupied with raising grain, catching fish for subsistence, and constructing a
boat for escape. Examinations of many unmarried men show congestion of the prostate and prostatic
urethra, due to just these uncompleted sexual activities. The continuance of the sexual
excitements without completing the sexual act perpetuates the congestion, until in the
course of time impotence supervenes. What is the remedy? Removal of the cause, ceasing
from sexual excitements which cannot be completed. The remedy is not taking another step,
fraught even with greater possibilities of harm and danger. I have elsewhere (Medical
Sociology, p. 83) set down the objections to extra-marital sexual intercourse, which are
sufficiently pertinent to this discussion to be reproduced.
"The dangers and objections arising from violation of the rule, that a man should have
sexual intercourse with none but his wife and that if he have no wife he shall remain
continent, are as follows: the moral and social degradation of a woman who otherwise would
live rightly; the danger of causing disease in such a woman; the encouragement, by example,
of a practice which stands pre eminent as the great cause of social unhappiness, the
subtraction of just so much joy and devotion from the woman who should or will stand in the
proper relation of wife; the possibility of the propagation of illegitimate children; the strong
probability of contracting venereal disease; the danger of transmitting physical or moral blight
to one's offspring; the development of vicious habits; the cultivation of immoral society; the
wasting of time and energy in unprofitable company; the social harm to one's self and family;
the moral harm which springs from acting in secretiveness and shame; the contracting of the
concomitant vices which go hand in hand with venery for venery's sake; and the postponement
of the organization, or the weakening of the strength, of the most potent factor in the
solidarity of society the home".
These are strong reasons against extra-marital sexual congress, and each is susceptible
of serious consideration. Congestion of the deep urethra is found also in the incontinent as well as in the
continent. Excessive coitus is said by good authorities to be a common cause of physical
deterioration. Is it not possible that the individuals who need coitus as the remedy for their
ills are the same as those who later suffer from the harm of excess? And is it not possible that,
single or married, they will permit their sexual impulses to do them injury? The pity is that
a woman has to be dragged down with them.
To concede that coitus is essential for the health of unmarried men is to concede the
desirability of a chain of social conditions which are the concomitants of the concession. Who
shall be the woman to preserve his precious health? He would prefer a comely young woman
for seduction, but suppose we grant him the prostitute? That means regulation of prostitution.
Regulation of prostitution means legal approval of the double standard of sexual morals, the
increase of the proportion of unmarried men and therefore of unmarried women, and the
diminution in the ratio of homes to population. I am opposed to the legalization of
prostitution. All that has been said of men may be said of women. They are harmed quite as much as
men by empty minds, ennui, idleness, and erotic suggestions. Such women create their own
internal stimuli. They long for love. The unsatisfied longing inflicts constitutional damage.
As men become hypochondriac and impotent, so do women become neurotic and sallow,
all from the uncompleted stimuli of sexual love.
The true remedy in both cases is normal social love and marriage. If it cannot be had, the
next best thing is the elimination of the sexual stimuli or supplanting them with less
erogenous impulses. Given, a woman capable of sexual love and its highest gratifications,
deny her these things, and she may be preserved in usefulness and happiness if she but
become engrossed in occupation. On every hand we see women who exemplify both types.
This discussion is made necessary because of the bad social conditions in which we live.
The remedy is an economic one. When an equable distribution of the proceeds of his labor
goes to the worker, and there is no bonus for the maintenance of an idle class, when a true
social democracy is secured, then the relations of men and women may be adjusted in
harmony with the highest possibilities of sexual morals, and not until then.