A passive pleasure seldom allowed is for the infant to
sleep in skin-to-skin contact with mother. Enveloped by her
scent and warmed by her flesh, the baby is supremely stimulated.
Instead, infants are put to sleep in cribs or cradles
because the baby needs his rest, and because the mother
needs time for other chores or because she might roll over
and smother him. Perhaps the youngster couldn't easily be
"broken" of the habit.
These perils are vastly overrated. They
arise from various unstated fears, especially that of an erotic
involvement with the child. In many other countries, infants
always sleep with mothers.
They aren't smothered or emotionally
warped. Older infants and children do need to individuate
from mother. If they're confined and stimulated,
harm can result. Not so the infant under six months, whose
primary task is to receive fully a spectrum of erotic experiences.
The greater the range and complexity, the greater the
potential for pleasuring as an adult.
The mother or father who fears smothering the infant can
still lie skin-to-skin while listening to music, reading, or simply
relaxing. If sleep intervenes the partner can assist by
keeping watch.
Next to smell, touch is the cardinal sense of the young
infant. As with any other receptor, it's developed only
through a diversity of contacts.
Touch can be light or firm,
tickling or teasing, prickly or tingling, soft or breezy. The
infant who experiences touch as only a tight swaddle forfeits
the pleasure of delicate manipulations. A fine way to start
this exercise is naked, together in the sun.
If climate or closeness
to neighbors forbids, a fur rug or fuzzy blanket beneath
a warm lamp will do. Nuzzling, mouthing, and licking constitute
a basic massage, common to all mammalian parents.
Tickling and teasing are distinctly human. Apes, monkeys,
and some underprivileged humans add grooming and nitpicking
(in the literal sense) to the basic armamentarium.
Grooming, whether by tongue or washcloth, remains an
excellent erotic vehicle. Follow your inspiration, providing
for your own pleasure and comfort as well.
Intimacy is a process
of both giving and receiving. Wallowing in warmth and
closeness can be delicious for both.
Rub the baby's skin with
a rough terry-cloth towel, or slide him across a satin comforter
on his belly.
Amplify these sensations with a feather
duster or blow gently with the warm air of a handheld hair
dryer. Eyelashes impart an exquisite tickle and suds or bubbles
which pop on the tummy tease and titillate.
Some say that the delights of water are first encountered
in the uterus. Perhaps so, but the uterus scarcely provides
the diversity of pleasure found in the bath.
Warmth, bubbles,
and the texture of water all combine to yield an experience
second only to nursing at the breast. The infant creates a
splash with the least effort, and the greatest sexual organ of
all, the skin, is stimulated all over by the towel.
A peak
occurs as the genitals are soaped, swabbed, and rubbed with
a soft cloth. The parent's touch and smile are captured in the
total imagery.