During the second six months the infant develops a separate self and recognizes the parents as distinct individuals. Tears flow when the mother leaves, and there is obvious relief when she returns. The baby can now tolerate minor frustrations without appearing devastated. He can wait to be fed as long as he trusts that his mother won't forget. This favorable expectation is built upon the repetitive, predictable gratifications which the mother has provided in earlier months.
Although body contact remains immensely important,
the baby can wait to be picked up, rocked, or bathed. A
modicum of frustration is healthy, for it helps the child to
individuate. Prolonged body contact such as sleeping
together is no longer necessary. The infant with a background
of pleasure knows what he likes and now begins to
seek that which feels good.
Elise is charged with boundless energy as she crawls
about the room. She insists on the absolute possession of her
mother's lap. She gives little thought to the presence of company
as she snatches at her mother's blouse with obvious
intent.
While sucking, she grasps and releases the other nipple,
rubbing the surface until it's fully erect. She's far more of
a threat to her mother's sense of propriety than she was just
three months before.
Fortunately for her mother, Elise has
other interests almost as attractive as the breast. Active
pleasures like pulling pots out of the cabinet compete for the
spotlight.
Since age five months Elise has bounced in a canvas swing
suspended from a doorway. Now she has a walker and a rocking
horse. These are her favorite toys.
They keep her quiet
and content for long periods. As she bounces and strains she
provides herself with a genital massage. Small wonder she
remains enthralled. Now she's able to construct sensation all
by herself-a happy event.
Other babies discover different methods. Some little girls
rub against a pillow or squeeze thighs together to create
erotic feelings. The father becomes a playmate with a bouncy
knee. As the world widens, passive pleasures are less enticing.
A seven-month-old weans himself from the breast
because he can't remain quiet long enough to nurse. He
squirms and wriggles until barely satiated, then slides away
to pursue the cat.
Parents can aid the acquisition of active pleasures by providing
a variety of materials and the opportunity to use
them. Time alone without diapers invites genital exploration.
Most infants will at least feel their genitals and appear
pleased.
Those who miss the area in the first session are
likely to discover it another time. If the mother is present
when the genitals are appreciated, it's important for her to
smile and demonstrate approval. Infants who neglect the
penis or clitoris completely aren't failures. Each child enjoys
a spectrum of unique and appropriate pleasures.
More advanced exercises include the provision of large soft or
fuzzy dolls and pillows of various shapes.
The session can be
extended to include play with mud or finger paint in the
backyard or tub. If the mother can join in the smearing without
concern for dirtying her hair, so much the better.
The infant in the second half year needs to develop reciprocity.
In earlier months, the baby has lived within himself,
with little understanding of his impact on others.
Now the
infant knows his mother and can actively return her attentions.
A healthy reciprocity is essential for sexual and other
relationships.