SEX
WITHOUT
SHAME
Encouraging the Child's Healthy Sexual Development
By ALAYNE YATES, M.D.
Sex Without Shame: Encouraging the child's healthy sexual development
by Yates, Alayne, 1929First
published in 1978 by William Morrow, ISBN 0-688-03301-6, LCCN 78-997.
Reprinted in 1982 by Quill, ISBN 0-688-01110-1, LCCN 82-464.
This edition has been OCR scanned from the William Morrow edition for publica
tion on the Internet, and is dated March 2001.
649.65 HQ784.S45 Y37
Typeset in New Century Schoolbook 11/13 pt.
TO MY SEXY CHILDREN:
MIMI, MARA, EVE, WENDY, MOSES, SARA, STEVE
KRISTI, RICK, JILL, DONNA, DAVE, AND PAM
WHO TAUGHT ME MOST OF WHAT I KNOW
PART I
UNDERSTANDING THE CHILD'S SEXUALITY
SENSUOUS CHILDREN?
A cantaloupe sky signals the nearness of dawn as the
two bare bodies again stretch upon the satin comforter. He
nuzzles her skin, breathes her racy scent, and quickly
rouses. He inhales deeply, presses urgently against her, and
unwittingly pinches her nipple in the process. Flinching
slightly, she rubs his nose and whispers softly. He fixes his
eyes on her, and kneads one delectable tidbit with his fingers
as he relishes the other with his lips. She pushes firmly
on his nates as he forces his hips against hers. An ancient
rhythm oscillates and ebbs. Gradually his grip relaxes and
he drifts toward a deep, refreshing slumber. She tenderly
disentangles her hair from beneath his body. Then she covers
him with the comforter, and carries him to his crib.
The infant is a sensuous being who is capable of experiencing
a crescendo of pleasure with each feeding. Triggered by
odor, exquisitely responsive to touch, greedy and aggressive,
the infant searches desperately, claims his prize, and melts
into languid slumber. Boundaries dissolve in oceanic oneness.
Why is cupid always portrayed as an infant? To be in
love is to reexperience infancy. The infant owns his mother
totally, and cares not for any other. If she denies him, he is
instantly enraged. He is encapsulated by his neediness-for
touch, for scent, for food, for warmth. His whole body is a sexual
organ. Many years ago Freud remarked, "Can anyone
who has seen an infant sinking back satiated from the breast
with a smile escape the thought that this represents the forerunner
of later, specifically sexual, satisfaction?"