The husband initiates sex only in the "missionary" position. Foreplay is crude and clumsy. He quickly climaxes and falls asleep. Men believe that the loss of semen weakens and debilitates. They are unaware of, doubt the existence of, or see as deviant, the female orgasm. Messenger describes one middle-aged bachelor, a man about town who often made love to willing tourists. He is astounded when a girl responds to his fondling with a violent bodily reaction.
Although he is aware that some women enjoy kissing and
caressing, he can't comprehend a woman's climax.
Nudity is abhorred and there is great secrecy about urination
and defecation. Even the dog caught licking its genitals
inside the home is whipped and banished from the house.
Chickens who defecate while setting on the nest are soon
killed and eaten. Underclothes are not removed for sleep or
for the sex act.
Only infants are completely bathed each Saturday
night. Children and adults wash from the neck
upward, and the elbow and knee downward. To be caught
barefooted is cause for shame, and clothing is always
changed in private. Men who brave the ocean in canoes must
rationalize their inability to swim. In fact they dare not bare
their bodies enough to learn.
Breast-feeding is uncommon because of its sexual connotation.
By late infancy, affection is demonstrated by word
rather than touch. Masturbation, sex play, and "dirty" words
are severely punished. From early childhood boys and girls
are rigidly separated in both work and play. Even the fact of
pregnancy embarrasses. Pregnancy is never discussed when
children are present. Women are considered dangerous during
menstruation and for months after childbirth. Children
soon perceive that the "good" woman does not like sex.
Malicious gossip is rife in Inis Beag. The fear of rumor is so
overwhelming that any hint of sexual desire is carefully
avoided. Spying is common, promoting general distrust. A
cherished memory once revealed may result in deep humiliation.
Inis Beag is the perfection of Christian morality. All eroticism
is systematically constricted from an early age. Not
only is premarital sex unknown and adultery rare, but the
marital unit is extremely stable. The cost is great.
A commonly held myth is that sexual freedom for children
and adolescents will create eventual adultery and thus
destroy the integrity of the family. In fact, early license is not
necessarily related to marital infidelity.
The Andamanese
allow their children erotic license, frequently including trial
marriages. Yet they practice strict monogamy, both prohibiting
and punishing adultery. (Radcliffe-Brown, 1948) The Ute
Indians of Colorado and the Tahitians endorse childhood sexuality
also, but expect fidelity after marriage. (Opler, 1940)
Conversely, a great many cultures which value premarital
virginity arrange married life with great license. (Benedict,
1955)
In our country, Kinsey reports that "females who had
had premarital coitus seemed to have been no more promiscuous
in their extra-marital relationships than the females
who had had no premarital coitus."
While sexual freedom for
children will not guarantee, or even foster, fidelity in marriage,
neither can we conclude that children's sexual activity
will cause infidelity after marriage.