The mother who focuses on hygiene as her raison d'etre sacrifices a measure of body intimacy. She tests the water temperature with her elbow, immerses the infant, scrubs, rinses, and completes the cycle by plopping her charge in a towel. The pleasure she derives stems from her own efficiency rather than from her infant. She allows her baby no time for passive pleasuring.
Many an infant-grown-up snatches a stereotyped four-
minute shower, grabs a towel, and proceeds about his business.
As you may suspect, a task at the sex therapy clinic is
for the couple to take a leisurely bath together, soaping and
rubbing one another with a soft sponge.
As the infant's whole body is a sexual organ, each area
needs to develop its full erotic potential. The genitals are
ordinarily stimulated, if only under the guise of hygiene. The
male infant rapidly learns to anticipate penis pleasure.
He parts his hips and gazes at his mother in avid anticipation as
she unpins his diaper. By the time the diaper is off, his penis
is erect.
The female infant reveals her excitement through
rapt attention and vaginal lubrication. In contrast, the
mother describes the diaper change as her least entrancing
chore, a necessary but unpleasant duty.
This attitude is
reflected in her facial expression, her voice, and the quality
of her touch. The stool smells and must promptly be discarded.
Another diaper must be pinned in place to avoid an
"accident."
These anxieties limit the experience of body intimacy,
and will, in the second half year, be perceived by the
infant as dissatisfaction with his genitals.
The assemblyline mother who approaches diapering like Rosie the Riveter not
only suppresses eroticism but conveys resentment. Her
infant-grown-up may well show an affinity for the bedcovers.
Diapering is prime time for the enhancement of genital
eroticism.
If the mother can feel pleasure and transmit
enthusiasm as she swabs and dabs, the prognosis is excellent.
She has at her disposal a myriad of scented lotions, oils,
and powder to expand the sensitivity of the entire genital
and rectal area. Textures such as cotton, terry cloth, and
Baby Wipes provide enrichment.
Millions of infants in this world are reared entirely without
diapers. The baby is simply suspended over the dirt by a
mother who accurately reads his body cues. Genitals are subject
to casual stimulation, such as rubbing against the
mother's hip, licking by a friendly puppy, or tweaking by
another child.
Genital manipulation is often an accepted
method to calm an irritable infant. Although statistics aren't
available, sexual dysfunction seems far more likely in countries
where diapers are employed.
Certainly the parent who
conceals the baby's genitals beneath a tightly pinned diaper
assumes a huge responsibility. This parent becomes the
infant's main source of genital pleasuring.
During the first half year, passive pleasures have dominated
the scene. A feeling state has been established which
will color not only the sex drive, but all other drives as well.
The infant has been, and remains, monumentally egocentric,
living only for himself. The division between mother and
child, outside and inside, is hazy at best.
Yet this has been
the first golden age of eroticism, of complete and unqualified
absorption in pleasuring. With the baby's ability to move
about and manipulate toys, passive gratification becomes
less prominent in the second half year.