The Serendipity nursery readies children better for school while Happy Days prepares them better for bed. Overemphasis on achievement necessarily causes underemphasis on eroticism. In Serendipity, performance anxiety is hailed as a sign of success. Children graduate with a list of priorities and a series of well-practiced techniques. Youngsters who attend Happy Days learn to enjoy life while they expand their erotic interests.
At home and at preschool, the child poses questions which
would confound a professor. A four-year-old queries, "Do mosquitoes
got a penis?" He isn't interested in anatomical structure
or the mechanics of intercourse. He has just looked
closely at a mosquito for the first time and wonders if the
stinger could be a penis. The three-year-old who asks her
pregnant mother where babies come from wonders if the
infant could drop in the toilet to be flushed away. A four-yearold
who was circumcised a few months before is angry and
upset when his mother prepares for the birth of a new baby.
Again and again he asks why she must go to the hospital.
She reassures him that he may visit her, and that Daddy will
stay home from work to care for him. When she's ready to
leave, he clings to her leg and sobs. He thinks his mother will
be circumcised too. A three-year-old tells her mother to stop
having babies. She remembers an Irish setter who gave birth
to fourteen puppies, several of which eventually starved. The
parent who sticks to the facts often misses the point.
There's no substitute for listening to the child and sorting
through his magical confusion and illogical connections. Yet
the reason why the youngster is anxious about sex and
intent upon building theories is that there's precious little
real information available.
The deficit is not of facts, which
are largely incomprehensible at this age anyway, but in feelings,
attitudes, and expectations. A most effective tool for
conveying these intangibles is sorely neglected-the fable or
folktale. The Eastern Apache Indian tribes spin folk tales to
children about the coyote who possesses an immense penis.
This picturesque trickster is thwarted in his erotic exploits
through his own blunders. Young and old of both sexes sit
back, laugh, and joke about the human foibles of the coyote.
The tale is both instructive and reassuring. Adult enthusiasm
for sexual themes and approval or disapproval of various
expressions of eroticism are evident. (Opler, 1975)
Parents can create their own fables or include erotic elements
in stories already on the shelf.
Thus the Grinch can
steal a curvaceous maid along with Christmas, Dorothy may
woo the Cowardly Lion, and Jack can fetch more than a pail
of water. Unexpurgated myths and fairy tales may be resurrected
in the service of eroticism, although only the simpler
stories and fables are suitable for preschoolers. Occasionally
a modern tale such as Millicent the Monster by Mary Lystad
is distinctly erotic. Millicent threatens the boy next door
while straddling a large tree limb, insults her mother, makes
faces at motorists, stands on her head to reveal her underpants,
and rides astride a rocking horse. The ending is moral
without presenting sex or assertion as shameful or dirty.
While reading aloud a story such as Millicent, parents can
stress the pleasure in erotic activity, and embellish or
enlarge upon sexual themes. Open discussion can then be
encouraged.
Stories also provide a foundation in sexual responsibility.
Values such as consideration for others, honesty, and
accountability are clearly conveyed. Children this age don't
just listen to stories, they live stories, so that part of each
tale becomes a part of the child.
The erotic preschooler has a conviction of maleness or
femaleness based upon real data. He views his genitals as
pretty, pleasing, and presentable. Simple sex games are
enjoyed without shame. His erotic interests are now largely
independent of his parents. As he expands his friendships in
the future, he will find many additional opportunities.